Daily Reflections reading April 11th
A Word To Drop “Blame”
To
see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could
perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we
had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures
were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop
the word “blame” from our speech and thought. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE
TRADITIONS, p. 47
When
I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I noticed that my
grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my blaming others for my not
being able to succeed and to live up to my potential. I also discovered I felt
different because I was black. As I continued to work on the Step, I learned
that I always had drunk to rid myself of those feelings. It was only when I
sobered up and worked on my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on April 11th Reading
Its all your fault that I am here and had to stop drinking
bla, bla, bla, I came to the halls to learn how to drink in safety and get my
family back, but it was because of all the mistakes of my past that I stayed in
the fellowship
I had blamed all the people in my life for my problems, not
thinking of how I had harmed them, but how much it hurt me to feel all the
negative things that I did when I was drunk, can't say that I ever blamed the
bottle for anything that happened in my life
It was my only friend it comforted men helped me forget, was
always at my side, would never leave me like others had, I was the ruler of the
universe and you all were just my servants to use as I pleased I was the great
I am
I did not care about anything or how much I could and did
hurt anyone, when I got here recovery taught me that if I was to get well I
must feel every feeling the good as well as the bad, accept responsibility if I
where ever to have any chance at living life with out booze or any substitute
Not one thing from my past can I change nor today do I wish
to change anything about my past
Because one of promises told me, I will not regret the past
nor wish to shut the door on it, all the tools I needed were in the steps and
with the help of the people in this god given fellowship
I found that I could forgive myself for all the wrongs I did
and could make amends for them, I found that forgiveness for myself, after all
the others that I hurt and blamed had forgiven me, God had forgiven me and I
did learn how to forgive myself and move on with this new life
I just had to accept this forgiveness and start with Gods
teachings thru the 12 steps of recovery
What a relief it is to not have to look for excuses for my
own behaviors, fantastic relief for trying to blame other and trying to make my
faults theirs
I have removed the word blame from my vocabulary, I just do
not have any place for it in my heart or mind today, this was a hard thing to
do like all the rest of the things I had to do in order to change that person I
was when I was at my sickest point in life
God Bless you Al M
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