Daily Reflections reading
September 24th
Vigilance
We have seen the truth demonstrated again and
again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” Commencing to drink after a
period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning
to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking
notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on September 24th Reading
Today I am an alcoholic, tomorrow will be
no different, my alcoholism lives within me now and forever, I must never
forget what I am, alcohol will surely kill me if I fail to recognize and
acknowledge my disease on a daily basis
I am not playing a game in which a loss
is a temporary setback, I am dealing with my disease, for which there is no
cure, only daily acceptance and vigilance, I have been fortunate enough to
enjoy life because of AA, I know I must stay vigilant and protect what was
freely suggested to me
Freedom from booze gave me the chance to
grow, it gave me the opportunity to make the best of my new sober life, I have
seen many who are in need, alcohol denies them the freedom to be fully alive, I
know I could not be free and sane when my life was ruled by my alcoholism
But by carrying the program to others, I
can help them return to sanity and growth, from the bonds of alcoholism, I see
people new to recovery who enter the program only to encounter an enormous
crisis or difficulty in there life, which sometimes inflicts pain when someone
is down
Difficulties do come in moments of
struggle and we become aware of the reality of our life, I have known many who
refused or were unable to hear the message being offered at the meetings, this
is where the attraction comes in it takes wisdom, patience, and detachment
To know when to reach out to someone and
how far to go, I must have respect for that person's recovery process, sharing
only my experiences as well as my faith I have in my Higher Power and the
Twelve Steps, I can not demand anything from another, or try to promote
recovery, for them to do it my way I try to carry the message as it was given
to me
Then I must let go and trust in the
process of my making it attractive to the new comer, I can only pray that they
see some thing to help them see the way to their own recovery, alcoholism
isolated and drove me to retreat from humanity, into a single unhappy way of
life
My world narrowed and any kind of joy or
happiness was taken away from me, until I asked the help of others, before I
retreated into the bottle again, sponsors are one of the greatest gifts in
recovery they come as a result of a life that's sane, It takes time and energy
to find the right person
But the rewards are worth it, they gladly
give their honesty, trust, unconditional love, acceptance to us all, as
sponsorship grew I found myself more able to understand the needs of others, my
sponsor listen empathetically without judging to whatever I was going through
He could put aside his needs to help
another, he put my needs at the moment first, as my recovery helped me to
develop the skills it takes to be a good sponsor, I found I to could let go of
my needs to help my sponsee to relieve the overwhelming problems of the day,
Then I also could let go and let our
friendships develop naturally, you can always tell a roomful of recovering
alcoholics, because everyone is drinking coffee and talking all at the same
time, it's easy for anyone to learn a lot about recovery everyday problems are
talked about all the time
Meetings and a trust in a power greater
then ones self is enough for anyone to learn about life, it all works! Our big
mouths that kept us sick for so long are now flapping to keep us well, meetings
are the basis for a lot more than laughter they add up to sound recovery
Thank God for our sponsors in the
program, they were waiting for us when we came in, who better could have shown
us that fear could be faced, because they had faced their own fear, they could
see beyond our mask, of loud talk, constant boasting, and flippant putdowns
They could see through that because
they'd already seen the lost child in their own eyes, because they admit and
accept their own failures, they are neither too permissive nor too hard on the
failures of others, good sponsors know the truth failure is a part of life they
themselves have tasted tragedy
They are free of the judgments passed
down by so many others, I will always be grateful for these people who knew me
and loved me, before they even met me, I need my sponsor not just for good
times but also for basic well being
I know in my own isolation everything
became magnified without my sponsor to help me form new perceptions, whatever I
could imagine became a monstrous reality, If our old rules tell us to hold back
and to decline closeness, we put ourselves at risk when we obey
Lacking the shared experience of others,
we are vulnerable, not only to loneliness, but to gross misinterpretation of
reality, minor setbacks may be seen catastrophic, people who don't go out of
their way to be friendly may be plotting against us
By connecting with friends, however,
we're able to see that our monsters are only about knee-high, that most of our
fears are made of smoke, and that no gray day can hold out against the sunshine
of common sense and a functioning program
I found that by this kind of giving I
have found my own sobriety growing, whether this new person has received
anything or not does not matter, for it kept me sober, I try to only carry the
message of recovery not the drunk I just need to be there for them
There is no joy greater than in a Twelfth
Step call that is accepted by the new person, to watch their eyes open with
wonder as they move from the fear and darkness, into light, to see their lives
fill with purpose and meaning, to see them received back into family life
Today watching people awaken to the
presence of a loving God of their own understanding, is what I receive when I
try to carry the AA message to the alcoholic who still suffers, I sit in AA
meetings and listen not only to get something for me Just by being there
filling the chair is a great support so others can see they are not alone
When I speak at a meeting I try to carry
God's message of hope, love, and forgiveness that we all make mistakes and are
all worth saving from this disease, newcomers have found confidence and comfort
in the laughter and talk before the meetings
God gave us this gift to pass on to the
next sick and suffering person lets all carry this message
“God
can do for us what we can't do for ourselves if we let Him”
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
