Daily
Reflections reading May 13th
The Easer Softer Way
If
we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.
72
I
certainly didn’t leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially when the
pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud. But I soon heard at
the meetings about the fellow member who just didn’t want to take Step Five and
kept coming back to meetings, trembling from the horrors of reliving his past.
The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal
disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on May 13th Reading
Step four revealed those experiences I
did not want to remember, I know how wrong thinking and wrong actions have hurt
others, as well as hurt myself, all the steps deflate our ego, for me step five
was what I needed that Ego to be deflated
I could not find any real peace of mind
if I were to continue to be the ruler of the universe, I had to find my Higher Power
in order to accept my character defects and short comings, given me peace of
mind and freedom from myself
When I had to look at my mistakes in step
four God had already known what they were, it was no problem talking to God
about my mistakes but to get the real benefit of step five, I had to seek out
that other human being to share my liabilities as well as all my many assets
To try and do this on my own, I would
only be looking at myself thru my own eyes, and not much of the truth would
come out, I needed a real house cleaning and could only get that by sharing
with another human being
I also discovered that relief never come
by confessing the sins of other people, I had to confess my own character
defects and short comings, for me I needed to find my real flaws in my
character and had to be shown what my shortcomings were
I needed an understanding and trustworthy
person to share them with this person being trustworthy and honest gave my the
insight to go over all my defects and he could point out where I was being
dis-honest with myself
I did get rid of that sense of isolation,
loneliness, and despair, I knew I now belong to a fellowship that truly loved
me and wanted the best of life for me, I stopped suffering with the feeling I
didn't quite belong, I started to open up to many others sharing my experiences
I had a new found faith I now had in my
Higher Power who I chose to call God, all loving and understanding most of all
I can now share the hope of a new way of life to anyone who wants this program
My first practical move toward humility
was in recognizing my defects, no defect can be corrected unless I could
clearly see what it is, but I had to do more than see the look at myself in
Step four was only a look, I still lacked honesty and tolerance, I had
self-pity, or delusions of grandeur
But while this was a humiliating
experience, it didn't mean I had much actual humility, something had to be done
about them, I soon found that I could not wish them away by myself, humility
was needed to get honest and share with that other human being
Honesty about others and myself was the
relief I got by doing Step Five, taken my own inventory I found how much
trouble self-delusion had been causing me, when I tried to lie to others, as
well as lie to myself this was the moment of truth I did not have to lie to
anyone
To me it was the first time I felt
completely at peace with myself shortly after that fifth step, I had a true
spiritual experience, I felt the presents of God enter my life, this was the
most wonderful thing I ever felt in my life it was total serenity absolute
peace with in me
Like God came down and pick me up and
held me in His arms I have felt His presence in my life on other occasions, but
never like that first time it was pure love that day, I have not found it necessary
to pick another drink after feeling His presence in my life
God bless you Al M
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