Reflections reading August 22nd
Seeking Emotional Stability
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. 12 & 12, p.116
All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of God, I have admitted my powerlessness over people, places and things. I had been a real “people addict”; wherever I went there had to be someone who would pay some kind of attention to me. It was the kind of attitude that could only get worse, because the more I depended on others and demanded attention, the less I received. I have given up believing that any human power can relieve me of that empty feeling. Although I remain a fragile human being who needs to work A.A.’s Steps to keep this particular principle before my personality, it is only a loving God who can give me inner peace and emotional stability.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on August 22nd Reading
Who is this new me, well its the same person I was when I
was born, alcohol and a fear driven EGO made my into another person even I did
not know, the only God I knew of was this fearful God who hated me and
condemned me to hell
Because of this at first I had a real hard time with
changing my way of living, I did not want God or His condemning judging ways in
my life anymore, so I needed to change the Me who came into the halls. that
little boy with-in needed to get out
The first thing I really had to do was to find myself, that
is not an easy thing to do When you have been living in lies and tell everyone
else lies most of your life, It’s very difficult to do this alone that’s why I
needed the 12 steps along with God and my sponsor to help me find out who I was
To find out what purpose I had here in this new way of life, being Ego driven most of my life I thought I had very high esteem of myself, but the truth was I used that Ego to make me much more important than I could ever have been
Inflating my EGO to the point I had to lie and used these
lies as my own truths, not respecting anyone, I found out that nobody had any
respect or trust for me, my word was a bunch of crap, AA has taught me that if
I want people to respect me I need to become respectable
If I want people to trust me I have to become trustworthy,
become honest with people, also needed to be absolutely honest with myself,
finding out what lies I told and how I had to change the way I tried to live in
those lies, trying to make others believe them
When I first started to tell the truth I thought the world
would come to an end, fear of the truth was the most horrible thing I ever
faced in my life at that point and of course this did turned out to be a false
fear of letting others know the real ME, who I am today is a man who has been
accepted in this fellowship with all my defects
God my sponsor and people like you showed me how to turn
defects into assets, who I am today with there help is a man of honor and
dignity with respect of all in my life I have learned to be true to myself as
well as those around me
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
