Daily Reflections reading February 12th
The
Root Of Our Trouble
Selfishness–self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of all our troubles. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What a relief to know that people, places and things will be perfectly okay without my control and direction. And how wordlessly wonderful to come to believe that a power greater than me exists separate and apart from myself. I believe that the feeling of separation I experience between me and God will one day vanish. In the meantime, faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on
February 12th Reading
Selfishness sure did run
rampant in my life, it was all about what I wanted in life, not what I needed
after all I was the most important person in my life, people should have been
there for me, when I was in the mood to listen to them, fact is many were
there, but I was to selfish to bother to listen
Selfishness and
self-centeredness was the root of my problems, it was driven by fear,
self-delusion, and pity, I step on everyone to get what I wanted, when I wanted
it and they retaliate, I blamed them for everything, I said they hurt me, hurt
me without any provocation
I know at some time in
the past I was the one to provoke them, as a result I was hurt, most of my
troubles were of my own foolish making, I sure was an extreme example of
self-will run riot, I had to let go of all this selfishness or it would have
killed
God did make this
possible, when I humbly asked Him, I just did not see anyway of entirely
getting rid of self will without His help and guidance, I had moral
convictions, but I could not live up to them I would have liked to but on my
own self-will
So much of this was just
wishful thinking, I had to have God's help, first thing I had to do was quit
playing God, It didn't work, I could not control the universe, hell I could not
even control my pitiful self drinking
I learned God is my
Father, I was His child this concept was the keystone of the new arch through
witch I passed into step three, taking this step I was ready to abandon myself
to God, the decision was made, now I needed a course of action, going on to
step four
A personal house
cleaning, my decision was a vital step, but it could have little permanent
effect unless followed by an effort to face and to be rid of the things that
had been blocking me, liquor was but a symptom of my disease, I had to get down
to causes and conditions
I had to start a
personal inventory, I had to take stock humbly and honestly, I had to search
out all the defects in my self-centered make-up, which caused most of my
failure, resentment sure was the "number one" offender it does
destroys more alcoholics than anything else
From resentment and fear
stem all forms of a spiritual disease I had been mentally and physically ill,
but also I was very spiritually ill, I had to find that HP to overcome the
spiritual malady and straighten out mentally and physically
I had to walk thru the
action steps of the program, step four fearless moral inventory, then step five
sharing my inventory with God, myself, and another human being, right into
steps six, I did finally become ready for God remove my defects of character
Although I was really
not entirely ready, to give them all up, I was ready, when I went to step seven
I thank God for my sponsor, who taught me humility, so at this point I could honestly
and humbly asked God to remove my shortcomings
I jumped right into step
eight, made a list of all persons I had harmed, by now I did became willing to
make amends to them all, including myself by doing Step nine, the last of the
action steps I did make amends to people wherever possible
But like many of us I
could not make amends to some, I know would be hurt by my amends, driven by
those hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity are
what started me on my journey to a life of sobriety, my they drive you into the
action steps too
Thank God there is nothing selfish about this program, Dr Bob said “it is all with- in the 4 absolutes absolute Honesty, absolute Unselfishness, absolute Love, absolute Purity, these are the yardstick to measure our thoughts to keep them in line with God’s will for us all”
I don't always know what effect my life choices
will have on other people, the effects of my daily life is easier to gauge, but
often I don't see the long-term effect I have on others, that really doesn't
matter today
Because all I am urged to do is to let kindness
and responsibility, rule my decisions, The effect I will see is the sense of
growth within myself, the long-term effect is I can be that a miracle others
will see, Today I'll remember that my actions affect many people beyond me.
God Bless you Al M
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