Daily Reflections reading August
17th
Righting The Harm
In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79
Have you ever thought that the harm you did a business associate, or perhaps a family member, was so slight that it really didn’t deserve an apology because they probably wouldn’t remember it anyway? If that person, and the wrong done to him, keeps coming to mind, time and again, causing an uneasy or perhaps guilty feeling, then I put that person’s name at the top of my “amends list,” and become willing to make a sincere apology, knowing I will feel calm and relaxed about that person once this very important part of my recovery is accomplished.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on August 17th Reading
I have found the amends process is a two fold process, in my
drinking days and even in my sober days I have hurt people, friends and loved
ones with my character defects, in step eight making this list I am about to
make amends for personal relationships up with others,
the amends to be done was my decision, but those involved,
had a say in the amends to be made I explained what I had done asked for their
forgiveness, asked what I could do to
clear up the past with them, this is scary because I did not know what they
expected of me
we never fail in life until we stop trying, life thru
failures, is a fact for us all, we learn from them I lived in a drunken fog,
sitting on a pity pot, for all I had given away in that drunken fog never gave
it much thought, but failure is what got me to the door of AA to turn them into
success
this was the beginning of the process of making amends to
myself after I did that ninth step I still had a void in my heart for all the
wrongs I did to so many making amends to myself is self forgiveness I had to
much guilt shame and remorse
when I looked at that past after my ego was deflated the
self worth was at it’s lowest point I felt lower than pond scum not willing to
forgive myself My sponsor told me I have a lot of nerve not to forgive myself
God forgave me, people I made amends forgave me who are you not to forgive
yourself
God give me a new life of hope peace and happiness, He
didn't ask me to change by myself He asked I come to Him just as I am trusting
in His love and forgiveness and be willing to change, I needed to keep my
thoughts on what I have been giving not on what I have lost
my disease has already taken to much away from me, when I
look at what God has given me, I still wonder why He chose to save the likes of
me, I can never make-up for the damage I have caused, but I did make amends for
my part, so I could start fresh
its up to those I tried to make amends too, they could
accept I was trying and hopefully forgive me or they could wait see by my
actions that I am really changing, if they have harmed me my memories will
haunt me until I honesty forgive them
I need to let go of my anger and fear forgiven myself I have
hope to regain things I lost, my past will always be with me, no one can
destroy my good memories they will always comfort me, my old life will always
remind me, I have changed to becoming loving useful person
only by working thru my past, learning about life on God's
terms, will I be able stay sober, I must always stay focused on my recovery, by
sharing my experience, strength, and hope, at times in my present life I can
have a bad day that could wipe everything out in a flash if I don’t stay close to the teaching of
this fellowship
Anger, fear, self-pity, loneliness, and despair are my
constant enemy old timers need the support of the new comer as much as the new
comer needs or support, don't look for God around you, for He dwells with-in
you, by being less selfish, less self-centered, by letting go of your old self
completely and shedding all your old ways, you will feel His presents with-in
you as I have
God Bless you Al M
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