Daily
Reflections reading April 15th
Bondage Of Resentments
harboring
resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the
sunlight of the spirit. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 5
It has
been said, “Anger is a luxury I cannot afford.” Does this suggest I ignore this
human emotion? I believe not. Before I learned of the A.A. program, I was a
slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to negativity, with
no hope of cutting loose. The Steps offered me an alternative. Step Four was
the beginning of the end of my bondage. The process of “letting go” started
with an inventory. I needed not be frightened, for the previous Steps assured
me I was not alone. My Higher Power led me to this door and gave me the gift of
choice. Today I can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the
sunlight of the Steps, as they cleanse the spirit within me.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on April 15th Reading
When I think of resentments self will comes to my mind I always
think of the great I am, I was solver of all problems for everyone and my way
was the only correct way to go, being lost in my disease I had no clue as to
what I was doing to all my loved ones
My friends, co-workers, and myself, not to mention all the
creditors and employers, I had a right to everything I wanted and nothing was
going to stop stubborn angry ME! I would go to any lengths to get it regardless
of who got in the way of my quest
Well the one thing I did not count on is I was getting in my
own way my self esteem was gone, the bottom was coming up, started to have
losses in my relationships with others hurting them with angry words and just
had fits of anger and some time even rage
Taken it out on things not people so I thought, right !!! Resentments
hell it was RAGE!!, today my will is still free and I have a choice everyday as
to what I want from me, recovery starts when I wake up each day when I try to
make my will the same as God's
Each morning that’s when I am using my will in the manner
God intended it to be used, His will not mine be done for today, my trouble had
been the misuse of willpower I had tried to bombard my all problems with what I
thought the world owed me
Never even attempting to bring it into agreement with God's
will for me, whatever that was then, before AA I had no God of any
understanding, today I do have that power greater than myself, I do choose to
call him God that God of my understanding is always with me
Full of unconditional love and forgiveness, I take my
resentments to Him today and He talks to me thru the wonderful people in the
fellowship, all I need to do is listen to the message He knows what to do with
them and how to teach me love and forgiveness
God bless you Al M
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