Daily Reflections reading
September 13th
Repairing The Damage
Good judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage and prudence - these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Page 83
To make amends can be viewed two ways: first, that of repairing damage, for if I have damaged my neighbor’s fence, I “make a mend,” and that is a direct amend; the second way is by modifying my behavior, for if my actions have harmed someone, I make a daily effort to cause no further harm. I “mend my ways,” and that is an indirect amend. Which is the best approach? The only right approach, provided that I am causing no further harm in so doing, is to do both. If harm is done, then I simply “mend my ways.” To take action in this manner assures me of making honest amends
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on September 13th Reading
Being responsible for
the damage I did it was necessary to clear the wreckage of my past, so I could
really let go of the past and move on to my new way of life booze free, step
nine was one of the most difficult to do, fear of the unknown was always there
It's one thing to make a
list of the people I hurt as I did in step eight that was painful, but to go to
those people in person and actually admit what I did and ask for forgiveness,
that just scared the hell out of me, then to try to make it right with my
apology and asking for forgiveness
Never mind some of the
restitution I need to make for stiffing some of my creditors, it was tempting
to skimp on this step, but I thought that with everyone of them, some of the
people I harmed did not actually realize I had cause problems for them
I still needed to make
those amends, anything that bothered me was an amend to make, there were times
I could not apologize because to do so would cause more harm, my sponsor was a
big help he showed me the right way to go in these matters of harms
Making direct amends
could be a letter, a phone call, or going around to see them, some letters went
out, some phone calls were made, some amends could not be made, but most of my
amends were made at a personal level, it was the best way for me
My sponsor helped me to
be honest as to who the amends would hurt, its not about me, If I did not know
how to reach some there was not much I could do but stay willing, for me it was
important to get this done as soon as possible and doing it right
I had to get the bulk of
my amends done as soon as possible with out hurting anyone, my family, my
friends, my co-workers, creditors, were the first and easiest for me,
confronting and making amends for my mistakes freed me form that bondage of
myself
God was with me every
step of the way, I thank Him and my sponsor for the strength to take these action
in steps four thru nine, it really set me free to start practicing all the
steps in my daily life and to be free to try to give some of this I have
learned back to others
People I sponsor today,
I tell them not to confess to the loved one about any affairs, as that could
really hurt loved ones, so the key there is willingness to make amends, that
means that if I could go back and change what had happened I would, I became
willing
I tell them not to put
their jobs in danger by telling the boss they have been stealing, if you told a
friend you had an affair with his wife, that would drag her into your guilt
hurting her, so in some cases just become willing, why confess to something
that could get you put in jail
You can do more good
passing on the 12 steps than being stuck behind prison bars, don’t let your
amends be at the cost of other people's security, dignity, and well being, in
short say your sorry, or like me it was also to ask for forgiveness and give
forgiveness If you can
If you cant go to
someone just become willing to make the amends, we are not perfect, just try to
be as honest and as humble as you can be, try a change of attitude and a change
of heart doing Gods will that is what it is about
God bless you Al M
Please feel free to mail
suggestions or comments
