Daily
Reflections reading August 14th
Repairing The Damage
We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76
Making a list of people I had harmed was not a particularly difficult thing to do. They had showed up in my Fourth Step inventory: people towards whom I had resentments, real or imagined, and whom I had hurt by acts of retaliation. For my recovery to be thorough, I believed it was not important for those who had legitimately harmed me to make amends to me. What is important in my relationship with God is that I stand before Him, knowing I have done what I can to repair the damage I have done
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on August 14th Reading
Making the list
and making the amends well after I made that list of all persons I had harmed
in step four I sure did not become willing to make amends to them all, If
you’re like me you’ll probably need to take several passes before the list is
complete I started with my fourth step inventory and just listed the people
there
After that over
a period of several days, other people came to mind you might want to break up
the list in parts like Finance Romance and self-importance what quickly became
obvious was that I was a long way from letting go of my anger I still had a lot
more of this cleaning up the wreckage of my past lots more work to do there
I still had to
accept the new knowledge of myself with new attitudes and new behaviors this
was hard when in the back of my mind I still had those big dreams of grandeur
where I was still the greatest thing that ever happen to mankind her on earth
I look at
everything that others did to me I did not look at much of how I treated others
I had an angry and negative way of taken a look at myself I felt I was the
victim not them my sponsor asked me just what part did you play in all this
mess look at what’s right and what’s wrong in you and your attitude
Not in how you
think others owe you the amends you have your list of people you have harmed
and you had better become willing to start making those amends if you want to
stay sober well for me actually visiting or even writing the people overwhelmed
me I took my time with this face-to-face admission of those I had hurt
It had been
embarrassing enough when I had admitted these things my sponsor and now he
wants me to go to all these people and really make that amend WOW that at first
this sucked but sure glad I finally started the amends was not so bad after all
people accepted my amends and most forgave me for the wrongs
What a relief
now that it’s all out in the open and God did watch over me thru it all I even
made amends to myself thru forgiveness of self
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