A GLORIOUS RELEASE
"The minute I stopped arguing, I could
begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to
infiltrate my life. I can't say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to
believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now.
To acquire it, I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.'s
program as enthusiastically as I could. "
TWELVE STEPS AND
TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27
After years of indulging
in a "self-will run riot," Step Two became for me a glorious release
from being all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable in my journey
now. Someone is always there to share life's burdens with me. Step Two became
reinforcement with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego were
curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I must give up the latter to one
with far broader shoulders than my own.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on February 5th
Reading
Step two for me was a
process of finding this power greater than myself, this happened over time,
first I came I showed up and stumbled in the door of AA hopelessly lost in my
alcoholism, having no other place to go full of fear and despair I came and sat
in the rooms
slowly and surely my
mind began to clear up, I began to have hope then as more and more people told
their stories this hope was reinforced by what I had heard, hope yes but still
I need to being convinced of this loving God of alcoholics anonymous
when I can see hundreds
of others doing the things they are asking me to do and getting well then I
have to make a choice I have to either believe they are telling me the truth,
or that I am the only sane human still alive on the face of the earth
I came to my senses I began
to experience emotional sobriety, when I finally came to believe is when my
real recovery began, it was a process, my spiritual growth was determined only
by knowledge of your God, as I was beginning to understand
With the presence of a
power greater than myself I began to find a little faith, at first it is only
the faith of the fellowships believe in their God if one person tells me
something I can call it a lot of crap, but when many people in recovery tell me
it’s true, I have to pay attention
The only thing that
seems essential to me in working step two is that I could not be absolutely
close-minded and refuse to either believe, or to take any further action for me
there was no hope until I started to change my attitude thru my actions
For some people,
spirituality is dramatic, for most however it is very gradual as one grows and
matures emotionally, one also grows spiritually, before I could accept a new
Power to restore me to sanity, I will have to engage in some emotional and
spiritual housecleaning
I admitted I was not God
and need to stop pretending to play God, I had to grow beyond selfishness and
grandiosity, I also had to stop putting other people, places, or things, in the
role of gods, I needed to overcome sources of bitterness toward my old belief
in God
I have had negative
experiences with churches, with the hypocrisy, bigotry, condemnation, I was in
conflict and struggling with a sense that God has failed me, that He has
allowed me to go down the wrong path of life, not ever thinking it was my free
will that caused all my pain
I was angry that God had
not instantaneously healed me after my first not so humble attempt with prayer,
but when I did honesty and humbly ask, He did take the desire to drunk from me,
this was when I commit myself to a life of recovery
I really wanted to fill
the void wanted to break down the barriers hindering my progress
So I needed to turn to
the ultimate source, in my case the God I became to understand in AA, the god
of unconditional love, compassion, understanding, and most of all forgiveness,
it is action that returned me to sanity
the action of changing
my attitudes and false beliefs of who I thought I was, how I tried to change
every thing and everyone around me, with my mind open I saw the program working
for me I needed this fellowship of warm and loving people
God bless you all
Please feel free to mail
suggestions or comments
