Daily Reflections reading August
10th
Redoubling Our Efforts
To a degree, he has already done this when taking
moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his
efforts to see how many people he had hurt, and in what ways. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 77
As I continue to grow in sobriety, I become more aware of myself as a person of worth. In the process, I am better able to see others as persons, and with this comes the realization that these were people whom I had hurt in my drinking days. I didn’t just lie, I lied about Tom. I didn’t just cheat, I cheated Joe. What were seemingly impersonal acts, were really personal affronts, because it was people – people of worth – whom I had harmed. I need to do something about the people I have hurt so that I may enjoy a peaceful sobriety
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on August 10th
Reading
Step eight reading in part from step
eight with questions on the step in the 12 & 12 "Made a list of all
persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." In
other words, who have I harmed?
This list can be people I have harmed
since I sobered up, who I might still be harming today, people who have told me
that I have harmed them, and they want restitution, all other persons I know I
have harmed, especially those I felt bad about, I am about to ask forgiveness
for myself why shouldn't I start out by forgiving them all?
Step eight is concerned with harms of the
past, Step ten deals with the present, Step ten corrects harms of the present,
but it is a good idea to make a few points about the nature of harm that we
might bring upon others
My sponsor pointed out a lot of things to
me like, if I stole while I was drinking its time you stopped stealing, right
now! If you were insolent, demanding, sarcastic, and critical, especially to
those who tried to love you, well you must learn to stop hurting them-even when
you think they deserve it
People who tell you that you have harmed
them they want restitution, or the IRS, law enforcement agencies, the Phone
Company, and my ex wife for child support, sure I harmed them they want
"justice" or my arms and legs >laugh< any claims against me had
to be cleared up
I was now ready to get down to the list
of past harms I had done, they were the source of my guilt with-in me I had to
also make amends for harms I did to myself this was not a top priority in the
beginning for me, I had to see the ways I did harm myself first
The way I had to go was with absolute
truth, I have been very cruel to myself also, it took time to see I didn’t
deserve all the punishment I inflicted on myself either, sober I did not
deserve to continue to punish myself, the world is no longer battering down my
doors I now needed to be free of guilt
My alcoholic mind was great at twisting
the program into an opportunity for getting what I wanted our founders designed
this step to correct our actions upon others not ourselves, become willing to
make amends to them all but I also needed to let go of the guilt of my past
I had to make a beginning on step nine as
soon as possible thank God I did not have to be ready to make all my amends at
one time I made the first one but I had to keep ready to make the amends until
I had completed that first list
I did want to hold myself to admitting
all the things I had done, but still forgiving others the wrongs done to me
real or fancied, I could not sit in judgment of them or myself, I had to stop
not exaggerating defects of myself or others
When our pencil falters, we can fortify
and cheer ourselves by remembering what A.A. experience in this step has meant
to others, it is the beginning of the end of isolation from our fellows and
from God, as we understand Him
God Bless Al M
Please feel free to mail
suggestions or comments
