Daily
Reflections reading October 14th
A Program
for Living
When
we retire at night, we constructively review our day . . .. On awakening let us
think about the twenty – four hours ahead . . .. Before we begin, we ask God to
direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self – pity,
dishonest or self – seeking motives. Alcoholics Anonymous Page 86
I
lacked serenity. With more to do than seemed possible, I fell further behind,
no matter how hard I tried. Worries about things not done yesterday and fear of
tomorrow’s deadlines denied me the calm I needed to be effective each day.
Before taking Steps Ten and Eleven, I began to read passages like the one cited
above. I tried to focus on God’s will, not my problems, and to trust that He
would manage my day. It worked! Slowly, but it worked!
©
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on October 14th Reading
It was time for willingness in my life, a real willingness to totally trust God, Step Six calls for no action on my part, it is change of my heart and mind, I was entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, all I have to do is be ready
I cannot create a willingness to change, God creates this willingness, and God does the healing, I discovered I had gained a new perspective on how to live my life, I have God’s guidance in my life
I could not continuing to live in a self-destructive way
In many areas of my life a big fault existed between what
I had come to see as helpful and how I was still living in the problems, I had
many more character defects than I was willing to acknowledge problems other
than just alcohol but I had to face these too
I had hope all my troubles and character defects would just
disappear just because of the time I had spent doing my inventory and sharing
it with another, but even with my best efforts some of my defects were still
with me waiting to pounce out again
In spite of my best efforts fear’s started to mount, it was
frustrating to know about these defects, but being aware of my defects was not
the same thing as having them removed, the principle of step six is
willingness, I have to be willing to change if I want a better life
Simple to say, but not easy to do, I see my defects of
character as old behaviors that are no longer useful to me, but are now very
harmful to my sense of well being, I started to feel depressed, had this pit of
fear on the inside, I was only existing at this point
I need to understand all this drinking at the expense of
others and my personal control is not a healthy way to find any peace of mind
for me or others, it just was not right when I always tried to have my way, but
in time I lost all my fair weather friends
My sponsor helped me sort out my list of character defects the
Big Book say’s if we still cling to a defect we will not let go, we ask God to
help us be willing, if there is a shortcoming that I am not willing to ask God
to help me with, I pray for the willingness until it comes
The difference between saying I’m entirely ready and being
entirely ready, is why so many people don't make it through the steps, this
program is one of action, anyone can talk the talk it's the walking the walk
that tells me whether they are being entirely ready
If I end up clinging onto my shortcomings like gold, how can
I ever let them go, no matter how much I say we will I need to take the action
of the actual letting go, I know God is willing to remove the defects and short
comings but I still have to be willing to let him
Going to any lengths means I am ready for a change and I now
rely on God to help me, sometimes these changes happen overnight without
seemingly a lot of effort, sometimes I just revert back to stinking thinking
God wants me to do more and He never asked for anymore than
I could handle in any given day, I'm always blessed when I do more for Him but
I also think at times He is just pushing the limits of what I can take, but my
best thinking got me here
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
