Daily Reflections reading
September 14th
Peace Of Mind
Do we lay the matter before
our sponsor or spiritual adviser, earnestly asking God’s help and guidance –
meanwhile resolving to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it
may? Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions Pages 86 & 87
My belief in a Higher Power is an essential part of my work on Step Nine; forgiveness, timing, and right motives are the other ingredients. My willingness to do the Step is a growing experience that opens the door for new and honest relationships with the people I have harmed. My responsible action brings me closer to the spiritual principles of the program – love and service. Peace of mind, serenity, and a stronger faith are sure to follow.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on September 14th
Reading
I could not ever have peace of mind
unless I objectively looked at what I was about to do in my ninth step, making
those amends, I had to try and approach this with a clear head and open mind
this way I could put my resentments aside and look at what part I played, in
the harms done
Timing is everything in making the
amends, I need to look over my list with my sponsor for guidance, some of the
amends I had to make very well could have injured others and I would not have
that peace of mind I was looking for
I could not make amends at the expense of
someone else’s dignity I needed a lot of courage to change the things I could,
courage is being brave, the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or
pain, without being overcome by fear, or being deflected from a course of
action
For me this was making all the amends
with my sponsor’s help in a timely fashion, in person, by letter, our by silent
prayers, to those who have passed, I had made a lot of hate letters to people I
thought had harmed me
These letters could never be given to
these people they were use as a tool for me to get my thoughts out on paper to
look them over and find where I had been at fault or where I needed to forgive
others as others had forgiven me for harms done
Prudence means good sense in practically
managing matters, I was about to undertake, to evaluate situations carefully,
so as to avoid risk of hurting myself or others in the process, good sense came
from my asking advice from my sponsor about these letters
He knew who I should make the amends to,
more importantly he told me who it was best to let go, because it could hurt
them, my amends began even before AA, it started when I told my mom I am going
into treatment for help with my problems with alcohol
It was the first time I saw my mother
cry, with tears of joy, before it was tears of pain, for all the crap I had put
her thru, I remember when I first got sober, she offered to buy a battery for
my car, I told her no I have taken to much from you in the past
I will get a battery when I start working
again, that very afternoon I received a check in the mail from my insurance
company, $50 rebate for my car insurance, the exact amount I need for the
battery to this day I have never received another rebate from any insurance
company, Grace of God??
I learned very early in recovery that
until I could set aside my fears and shortcomings I could never have peace of
mind, making someone else look bad does nothing for me, it makes matters worst
than they were before I open my big mouth
Then more amends discretion is the good
judgment and sensitivity needed, to avoid embarrassing or upsetting others
given me the freedom to decide just what amends I needed to make, by making a
decision about the amend and the ability to keep sensitive information secret
So as not to hurt another this is the
final step in cleaning up the wreckage of my past and this is the best way to
take whatever comes my way, not everyone had accepted my amends, some forgive
me but were unable to forget the harms I did to them, steps four thru nine are
taken a look to change who we were, given us all that peace of mind
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
