Daily
Reflections reading April 14th
The Number One Offender
Resentment
is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.
From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally
and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 64
As
I look at myself practicing the Fourth Step, it is easy to gloss over the wrong
that I have done, because I can easily see it as a question of “getting even”
for a wrong done to me. If I continue to relive my old hurt, it is a resentment
and resentment bars the sunlight from my soul. If I continue to relive hurts
and hates, I will hurt and hate myself. After years in the dark of resentments,
I have found the sunlight. I must let go of resentments; I cannot afford them.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on April 14th Reading
Resentments are always sitting there on my shoulder, waiting
to pounce on me, if I let them forgiveness is an act from my heart, to help me
heal from all my pain and hurt feelings when I forgive, I refuse to be damaged
by the wrong doings of myself, or others in my life
To not forgive is resentment and I am the victim of that
resentment, because the victim is always the one who carries the resentment,
the ones who I resent usually doesn't know and doesn't care about my resentment
unless I tell then in a fit of rage
We all know that leads us into our addictions, to hang on to
my resentment is to poison my heart and turn me bitter towards everyone,
resentments steal all the joy out of my life I could have, if I only I practice
forgiveness
Because of resentments in my life, I victimized myself while
others went their merry way, it takes time to learn how to forgive others when
the anger, fear, and hurt is so bad, but forgiveness is what I needed to move
on with my life, to let go of the pain
Resentments always take away from me, they never give me
peace or contentment, resentments keep me in a past that can never be changed,
repaired, or re-lived, resentments keep me in my mind to be mugged every time I
go there alone
Resentment will always keep me from appreciating the beauty
of my life, they stop me from hearing the loving voices of my new friends and
family, I decide to forgive others, as well as myself, for mistakes real or
imagined done to me
Trusting in God's will for me today and try to carry this
out, I had to learn how to forgive, it was a choice not to resent others, this
freed my mind and heart for the real work, my life can still go unfulfilled if
I let resentments consume my emotions
I have a program of recovery that helped me develop a
forgiving heart, to find the peace love and joy that are part of God's will for
me, I always have the choice to be closed minded about everything that comes up
Or I can choose to be honest, kind, loving, living with some
serenity, to not forgive whatever the offense is, will put a dark shade on
God's light, when I harbor ill feelings toward others I become stuck in the
darkness
Today I express my love through forgiveness and I feel God's
love in return, until I could learn love and acceptance for everyone in my
life, I wasn't able to freely love and accept anyone else in my life this would
make one lonely man who could slip back into a bottle
Forgiveness of others and myself is a gift to me from God,
what I do with His love and forgiveness is my gift back to Him, I try my best
to reach out and help others find the peace and contentment I have found but
replacing resentments with forgiveness
Please feel free to mail
suggestions or comments
