Daily
Reflections reading May 27th
No Maudlin Guilt
Day
by day, we try to move a little toward God’s perfection. So we need not be
consumed by maudlin guilt… AS BILL SEES IT, p. 15
When
I first discovered that there is not a single “don’t” in the Twelve Steps of
A.A., I was disturbed because this discovery swung open a giant portal. Only
then was I able to realize what A.A. is for me:
A.A.
is not a program of “don’t’s, but of “do’s.
A.A.
is not martial law; it is freedom.
A.A.
is not tears over defects, but sweat over fixing them.
A.A.
is not penitence; it is salvation.
A.A.
is not “Woe to me” for my sins, past and present.
A.A.
is “Praise God” for the progress I am making today
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on May 27th Reading
No Maudlin Guilt for me today, no tearfully, weak,
emotional, foolishly sentiment thoughts thanks to the 12 steps of this God
given program, I absolved myself of Maudlin Guilt by taken suggestions of the
program doing a fourth and fifth step
I made a list of all my resentments, fears, anger, and the
things about the world that really ticked me off, I went back to the very
beginning of my life and I wrote down some of the really sleazy things I did,
like stealing or lying through my teeth
To avoid getting into trouble being really nasty hanging on
to resentments because they defined my life, or behaving like a jerk, to so
many people because I thought they were stepping on my toes, or treating myself
like a piece of garbage
I wrote about sexual issues, financial issues, and social
issues, I really laid myself open, how I expected to tell another human being
they must be out of their minds, it was bad enough I had to go through this
fearless moral inventory myself
Experience has taught me I cannot live alone with problems,
or the character defects that cause them, if I have swept the searchlight of
Step Four back and forth over my whole life, it has revealed in stark relief
where I need to change my life
I have come to know how wrong thinking and action have hurt
others as well as myself, the need to quit living in my past with those ghosts
of yesterday gets more urgent than ever I had to share these fears and
resentments with another human being
Step five is about realizing I can not hide behind false
masks anymore, telling someone my darkest fears and secrets I’ve kept buried
for many years things painful, shame, guilt, and remorse I have felt, gives me
a chance to put them into perspective
Telling another person will relieve this sentimentality,
weakly emotional, maudlin guilt, it is going to give me the chance to begin to
forgive myself, helping me understand that the things I thought were worthy, we
just the opposite, caused by faulty thinking and actions
The exact nature of my wrongs, is what I did and what
out-of-control instincts in myself caused me to think the way I did and to act
the way I did, resentments I had held on to plague me with false fears and more
Maudlin Guilt
After doing the fifth step, I felt the love of God as I
understand him today, all loving and forgiven, He has shown me to a way of true
faith that works, He relieved me of all the Maudlin Guilt I was caring from my
past
He removed all the feelings of I could have, I should have,
I would have, the what if's of my guilt for things I did not do right, He
showed me how to now be grateful for all I have today, I made the amends of my
past, I only go into the past to show other how to overcome the Maudlin Guilt
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
