Daily Reflections reading August
8th
Made A List
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, . . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 77
When I approached the Eighth Step, I wondered how I could list all the things that I have done to other people since there were so many people, and some of them weren’t alive anymore. Some of the hurts I inflicted weren’t bad, but they really bothered me. The main thing to see in this Step was to become willing to do whatever I had to do to make these amends to the best of my ability at that particular time. Where there is a will, there’s a way, so if I want to feel better, I need to unload the guilt feeling I have. A peaceful mind has no room for feeling of guilt. With the help of my Higher Power, if I am honest with myself, I can cleanse my mind of these feelings.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on August 8th Reading
Made a list of all the people, places,
and things I had harmed, I became willing to make amends to them all, the first
parts was easy I simply need take pen and paper and make a list of the people I
had harmed, this list could never be complete for me I always find new amends
to make down the road
The Step does say all, this meant
everyone I could think of, all people, places, and things, I started with my
fourth step inventory, first I just listed the people I outlined in the fourth
step, this is one of the reasons it is not wise to burn the fourth step
inventory
After I share it with another human, all
my journals serves to show me the way into the next steps the people I need to
make the amends to the most were in the fourth step, but that was not a
complete inventory of harms done, just as complete as I could make it at that
time
But as time went on other people came to
my mind, who I harmed in some way, they now had to be added to my list, I had
to break up this list in parts like Financial, Romance, Self-importance, it's
the part of Step eight that often caused me problems, looking at all the ways I
harmed
My Ego got in the way a lot in the
beginning, I found to get even close to being willing to make amends to my ex
employers, my creditors, most of the people in my inventory, It became obvious
I was not letting go of my fears and anger
Not looking at my part in things only
theirs, POOR ME attitude really hurt me a lot because I feared looking at me,
Step eight acts as a second inventory and let's me know what work I still need
to do on me and my attitudes, it was awhile before I could really see and
accept my part in my failures
Not blaming others for the mistakes I
caused in the first place, the step took me down to where my own self-esteem
and self-righteous attitude got to the boiling point, family was difficult
because it's so easy to see where and how I had been wronged by them many times
But again forgiveness came into play
there, I had to forgive them so I could move on, this is not about how I was
wronged by the others in my way of thinking, with a drunken attitude, even if I
have been wronged I had to work through those feelings
Before I could get to my part in what
happened and how I needed to make the amends, not them, getting to this part is
an absolute must; it’s the only way I can gradually build up a true picture of
my sober attitudes of myself
With willingness and asking for help at
meetings from my sponsor and from God as I today understand Him My actions
became clear, bit-by-bit I looked even more into MY PAST what a powerful step!
More importantly I was moving toward taking true responsibility for my
past
I had really got down to looking at the
real harms I caused when active in my drinking, I was now willing to make the
amends to everyone on my list except where it could harm others
God Bless you Al M
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