Daily
Reflections reading April 17th
Love And Fear As Opposites
All
these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right. TWELVE STEPS
AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
“Fear
knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there.” I don’t know to whom
this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates clearly that fear
is an illusion. I create the illusion myself. I experienced fear early in my
life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I
didn’t know that one of the definitions of “courage” is “the willingness to do
the right thing in spite of fear.” Courage, then, is not necessarily the
absence of fear. During the times I didn’t have love in my life I most
assuredly had fear. To fear God is to be afraid of joy. In looking back, I
realize that, during the times I feared God most, there was no joy in my life.
As I learned not to fear God, I also learned to experience joy.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on April 17th Reading
I have the capacity to love and to be loved, but trying to
make someone love me is trying to control
Love for me is to be given freely to all, including myself,
from the heart and unconditional, because I can love in this new way of
thinking, I get freedom from my anger and fears
But for me I had to be shown how to love myself first, boy
that was not easy to do, when I am full of fears and resentments for things I perceived
other had done to me, fear is sure the opposite of love when your in this
resentful state of mind
Today I have the teachings of the fellowship, the love of my
God who has taught me unconditional love for everyone, now that don't mean I
have to like everything that people do, but if I do not keep the attitude of
gratitude for all, then I start to regress back to anger and fear
Wanting to do things my why, judging and controlling by my
own sick standards, when I look at those standards for myself I know they were
set out of fear of anyone getting to know the real me, fear said you don't want
them to know how much you hurt
Yes I was trying to control everything around me so I would
not have to show my fear and anger over people, places, and things, if I could
control these feeling and not show them, I would be OK in my own drunken world
not letting anyone in
Anytime I think I have to control something, then I am
already out of control over it so for me love has to go out to all, even when I
do not want to be like them, because they just might be reminding me of my self
when I was out there
I can still love them for what they could become, just as
others loved me for what they knew I could become with the help of people in
the fellowship, who had been where I was before I too surrendered to this
disease of alcoholism
Today I do not have to accept there unacceptable behavior,
as those who came before me did not accept unacceptable behaviors in me they did
call me on them but gave me the choice to change because they only carried the
message of hope
Today I do not have to change people who are offensive anymore
that other knew they could not change me, today I only have to change my
attitude towards them, to one of love, forgiveness, and hope they to will see
the light
I also don't have to let them have any free space in my head
to screw me up, to each his own, I give my love freely and unconditionally,
what you do with it is your business, best of all I can honesty say that today
I do love Myself as much as I love others
The love I have today has replaced all the false fears I
came into this program with that child with in has grow in the program, having
the program passed forwards to me by the love and kindness of the old timers
who were patience and tolerant of me
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
