Daily Reflections reading June 13th

 

Living Our Amends

 

Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is to some extent, ill. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 122

 

It is important for me to realize that, as an alcoholic, I not only hurt myself, but also those around me. Making amends to my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering, will always be important. Understanding the havoc I created and trying to repair the destruction, will be a lifelong endeavor. The example of my sobriety may give others hope, and faith to help themselves.

 

© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services

 

My thoughts on June 13th Reading

 

Being responsible for the damage I did it was necessary to clear the wreckage of my past so I could really let go of the past and move on to my new way of life booze free step nine was one of the most difficult to do, fear of the unknown was always there

 

Itís one thing to make a list of the people I hurt as I did in Step eight that was painful, but to go to those people in person and actually admit what I did and ask for forgiveness that just scared the hell out of me then to try to make it right with my apology and asking for forgiveness

 

Never mind some of the restitution I need to make for stiffing some of my creditors, it was tempting to skimp on this step, but I thought that with everyone of them some of the people I harmed didn't actually realize I had cause problems for them

 

If I am to live my amends I still needed to make those amends, anything that bothered me was an amend to make, there were times I could not apologize because to do so would cause more harm, my sponsor was a big help he showed me the right way to go in these matters of harms

 

Making direct amends could be a letter, a phone call, or going around to see them, some letters went out, some phone calls were made, some were make at a grave site, some amends could not be made but most of my amends were made at a personal level

 

It was the best way for me, I had to let them see the changes I had made, my sponsor helped me to be honest as to who the amends would hurt, its not about me, If I did not know how to reach some there was not much I could do but stay willing

 

I had to get the bulk of my amends done as soon as possible with out hurting anyone, my family, my friends, my co-workers, creditors, were the first and easiest for me, making amends for my mistakes freed me form that bondage of myself

 

People I sponsor today I tell them not to confess to the loved one about any affairs, as that could really hurt loved ones, so the key there is willingness to make amends, I tell them not to put their jobs in danger by telling the boss they have been stealing

Don't let your amends be at the cost of other people's security, dignity, and well being, In short say your sorry, or like me it was also to ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness if you can, if you cant go to someone, just become willing to make the amends

 

God bless you Al M

 

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