Daily
Reflections reading December 21st
Listen, Share And Pray
When
working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in
their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100
When
trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I’ve given in to an impulse to give advice,
and perhaps that’s inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps
its own benefits. The best I can do — and it sounds easier than it is to put
into practice
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on December 21st Reading
Listen, is what we do best when reaching out to help others,
we also reach out to the family of the alcoholic, share our experiences with
them, to find a new way of living life with Gods help, this is where pray comes
in we all need to pray for help, alcoholic and family alike
When you look at this reading there is a lot to it, family
is involved and that mean all the crap of the alcoholics past and present come
to the fore front, it is the most difficult part of any alcoholics recovery
making the amend to family
Not everyone has been fortunate to have a family to return
to, those who do have a big road ahead of them in cleaning up the mess they
caused when out drinking, the spouse is the one who has been hurt the most,
from what I have seen working with an alcoholic and the family
Very hard and in some cases almost impossible to forgive the
alcoholic, with out having some kind of help for themselves, working with
others in family matters I always suggest the spouse of the alcoholic try some
alanon meetings to help himself or herself
After coping with embarrassment, denial, anger, fear, and
guilt, being manipulated and lied to. Many just don't realize just how sick
they have become living with the active alcoholic, at this point they surely do
not have any trust in the alcoholics work
There may be divorce, separation, or just very strained
relationships; even if the sponsee want to repair the damage and is working the
twelve steps in to their life, trying to convince the mate to do the same can
be a challenge
Just explaining to them the new principles by they are
trying to live by and want their family to live by their new found principles
could come of as just another con job to the spouse and at this point in a
strained relationship this just won't go over as sincere
This is why help for the spouse and children of the
alcoholic are so important, they are just as sick as the alcoholic, after all
the lies and things they did to protect the alcoholic, denying they had a
problem, making excuses why they are not able to work today
Daily waiting for them to come home and take responsibility
for their part in the family function, who would not be sick some times the
spouse and children become sicker than the alcoholic because they did not have
the booze in them to help forget
I have seen some of the worst in people who were in black
outs, one man I sponsored had a serious home problem he try to molest his daughter
in a black out, he has not drank since that day, working a good program
His daughter has forgiven him long ago and she is now a
lawyer, this man and his family have a fantastic relationship today, thanks to
working the 12 step into all their lives, wife went to alanon and the daughter
went into alateen, now they all live by the principles of the steps
Not all relationships work out for the best some fail
continually, but thanks to being able to show the family a new life style, they
have an attitude of gratitude for what they learned about themselves and
continue to work on them
I worked with one such man who just seemed constitutionally incapable of being honest with
himself he tried many times to sober up but keep going back out he had two kids
and they had to watch this over and over even when mom was in alanon
After about 6 years of this nightmare this man succumbed to
our disease thank God the wife was in alanon and she know this day would come,
she was prepared for the financial reasonability’s because she had to handle
them right along
God bless Al M
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suggestions or comments
