Daily
Reflections reading May 2nd
Lighting The Dark Past
Cling
to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession
you have- the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert
misery and death for them.
Alcoholics
Anonymous pg. 124
No
longer is my past an autobiography; it is a reference book to be taken down,
opened and shared. Today as I report for duty, the most wonderful picture comes
through. For, though this day be dark-as some days must be- the stars will shine
even brighter later. My witness that they do shine will be called for in the
very near future. All my past will this day be a part of me, because it is the
key, not the lock.
©
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on May 2nd Reading
The principles we have set down are
guides to lighting the dark past I have to utilize these principles on a daily
basis to keep the path bright, if I have learned anything in this program it is
that it's about progress not perfection
I became willing to fail, this has been a
great gift in my sobriety, It has enabled me to try new things now that I no
longer have to be the ruler of the world walking the path has been the ability
to realize I am not responsible for every human being's actions
The hardest thing for me is to remember
that God is running the show, not me, as long as I remember to pray and try to
do my best to follow his Will things are OK, but if I try to do it my old way the
light dims and if I do nnot get back on the path it will die out
I fear perfection when perfection seems
to sneak up on me, it is then I know that I'm starting to go back to my old
life style, becoming disconnected with God, I'm not perfect and if I ever was
then drinking would probably return to my life to be lost again
This tells me I don't have to get
everything right the first time, in the past if I didn't do something right, it
was an excuse to drink, as long as I'm willing to grow, willing to learn from
my mistakes, willing to take suggestions from those around me, everything is
going to be all right
I found it difficult to allow myself to
make mistakes on my road to lighting my past, but because of a loving God and
the support of AA, I find it is getting easier and easier to separate the good
from the bad, the guilt and shame took a little longer to walk past
Lighting that dark past became easer when
I was half way thru I could see the progress I was making in righting the
wrongs I did I need to take that inventory, so I know where I am, then I can
compare it to where I was before the path was lit up
I know what doesn't feel good when the
old stuff pops up, struggling to get through each day I grew up thinking if I
were just a little more perfect, the booze would disappear, Now I am seeking
help through God and I realize He is the only thing stronger than that next
drink
I was told in the beginning of this path
go to a lot of meetings and don't drink in-between, keep it simple for a while,
till your ready for action; then again maybe you're ready for action, I hat to
put myself wholeheartedly AA taken the action to keep the light of the darkness
shinning
For myself and for the next sick and
suffering person to find hope on a path that is lit up by all who have walked
the path before them, we must do whatever it takes, staying sober, being honest,
both with myself and with others
For me today my past is the biggest asset
I have, the promise for me has come true, I do not regret the past nor wish to
shut the door on it, if for one moment I forget what I had become when I was a
drunk just that one moment I could go back out and repeat the past
I do not ever want to do, my past is my
teacher as to how not to behave, I do not go into my past alone God is always
with me, the twelve steps are my guide into my past and how I relate to others
today sure I don't like what I was when drunk, but by remembering what I was
like
How many people I hurt so now do not
repeat the same mistakes and like another one of the promises says No matter
how far down the scale I have gone I will see how my experience can benefit
others who are now traveling down that road I was once on
Because my path stay lit it has benefited
many others in recovery, who had the chance to stop in time before they lost
everything God has been good, only because I chose to turn my life over to his care
and surrender my will to Him God can and will do for me what I could not do for
myself
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
