Daily
Reflections reading May 15th
Know God; Know Peace
It
is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and
unhappiness. . . . But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and
growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely
grave. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.age 66
Know
God; Know peace.
No
God; No peace.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on May 15th Reading
In the beginning I did know of a God, but
I did for a minute believe in Him, He was a revengeful condemning, God of my
old understanding, who was only interested in sending me straight to hell, for
all the crap I did when out there drinking
You might say I had a big resentment over
this God, not only did I not trust in him, I really acted at times like I was a
God, a ruler of my own little universe, I was the master of all who I could con
into believing in my ways
Nope I really did not believe, so I had
no God, I sure did not have any peace trying to control people or everything
around me and when someone rebelled I sure did run right back into that bottle
Seemed like at that time it was the only safe heaven I had it was my security
blanket
A place were I did not have to face the
real truth and could embellish on what I thought was the truth as I understood
it, I was solver of all problems for everyone and my way was the only correct
way to go, being lost in my disease, I had no clue as to what I was doing to
all my loved ones
I had a right to everything I wanted and
nothing was going to stop stubborn angry ME! I would go to any lengths to get
it regardless of who got in the way of my quest, the bottom was coming up fast
I started to have losses in my relationships with others
hurting them with angry words and just
had fits of anger and some time even rage, I was told when I first came to
halls that I have to change things about myself, I had tear down the ego, to
build up self-esteem, let go of the anger, be grateful for my new way of life
My sponsor told me I had to forgive
myself and lose the anger and hatred, anger is not a thing we alcoholic can
deal with very well, we need to look at resentments long before the anger rises
into rage and hatred to anyone
Recovery for me starts when I wake up
each day when I try to make my will the same as God’s that’s when I am using my
will in the manner God intended it to be used His will not mine be done for
today my trouble had been the miss-use of willpower
I today do believe that anger has been
put aside and replaced with love and respect for others who still suffer from
our disease yes today I also know God and I sure do know peace all because I
walked thru the 12 steps of recovery
Today I do choose to call him God, that
God of my understanding is always with me, full of love and forgiveness this is
where I take my resentments today He knows what to do with them and how to
teach me love and forgiveness
For me random acts of kindness are the
best why to remove my anger and doing this anonymously is the best way to go,
God is watching over us all and He likes when we do for others, may you find
your God now, and travel that road to peace and happiness
God bless you Al M
Please feel free to mail
suggestions or comments
