Daily
Reflections reading March 18th
Real Independence
The
more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we
actually are. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 36
I start
with a little willingness to trust God and He causes that willingness to grow.
The more willingness I have, the more trust I gain, and the more trust I gain,
the more willingness I have. My dependence on God grows as my trust in Him
grows. Before I became willing, I depended on myself for all my needs and I was
restricted by my incompleteness. Through my willingness to depend upon my
Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, all my needs are provided for by
Someone Who knows me better than I know myself – even the needs I may not
realize, as well as the ones yet to come, bring me to be myself and to help me
fill the need in someone else that only I am meant to fill. There never will be
another exactly like me. And that is real independence.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on March 18th Reading
Real Independence well I really thought I had that when I
was drinking, it was everyone around me that lost theirs, I did not think I had
any serious defects of character, know I had a few shortcomings but did admit
it was getting harder to keep friends
Being human early on I still wanted to keep a lot of my
defects, at that time I called this my character we all did have very distinct characteristic
qualities, they just needed to be tuned up a little, OK a lot in read step six
it separates the men from the boys
I think this is because at the time we had mostly men in the
program, today I like to say it is when we separate the adult from the child,
like many others in recovery I had still catered to the child with-in-me way to
often in the early days of my
I always wonder how I could have real independence, after
all I am dependent on food, water, shelter clothes, electricity, heat, how was
this independency, well I just had to look at who provided me with all these
thing, God was looking over me
My problem was I was to stubborn to turn my free will over
to Him, I knew I had to change but how was this to be done, I just was not in
any hurry to do this, maybe the so called seven deadly sins were way out of
control
It was all about me and my attitudes, false pride, was my
problem, thinking I was better than most
Pride was another excuse to do as I wanted, at any time I
liked to feel and act superior to others today I take real pride in myself, not
false pride, proud to be a loving kind respectful husband
Greed was a big part of my make-up I always wanted what I
wanted when I wanted it, today I know greed can be masked in many ways like
taken comfort or pretending its ambition, taken more then I deserve in my
opportunities to better myself at the expense of others
I found out it takes willingness to change but also the
action, not much sense in unlocking the door of step three without stepping
inside, with out my becoming willing to seek out this God, of your
understanding
I could not have gone on with the rest of the steps, I know
myself will and greed, along with my Ego
Would have slammed that door shut again, I needed to be
vigilant about keeping an open mind to changes, I needed to take the action of
walking thru that door, was a fearful step to take
But this was the turning point of finding true independence
of myself I had to let go and turn my life and will over to God as I now
understand Him, this does make me dependent upon God but it relieves me or the
false dependence upon myself and selfish ways
I did find that I needed guidance in all things concerning
what my next right step would be, and dependence on God and fellowship gave me
true independence of the spirit, every human being is dependent upon someone or
something
We are more aware of this because un-aided by others in the
fellowship none of us would survive
In step three we are asked only to make a decision to turn
our lives and will over to Gods care the action was needed to see just what I
was turning over and to whom I was turning it over to
This is where steps 4 thru 9 come into play its thru the
actions of taken the rest of the steps I found out exactly where I needed to
change my ways of living and by learning who this HP is for me it was when I
began to understand what God's will is for me
I honestly and humble try to make my will conform with God's
will today, witch is simply doing the next right thing my whole trouble had
been the misuse of my own free will I see now how I had tried
To bombard my problems with free will instead of attempting
to bring my will into agreement with God's will for me
God bless you Al M
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