Daily Reflections reading August
15th
Didn’t We Hurt Anybody?
Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 79
This Step seemed so simple. I identified several people whom I had harmed, but they were no longer available. Still, I was uneasy about the Step and avoided conversations dealing with it. In time I learned to investigate those Steps and areas of my life which made me uncomfortable. My search revealed my parents, who had been deeply hurt by my isolation from them; my employer, who worried about my absences, my memory lapses, my temper; and the friends I had shunned, without explanation. As I faced the reality of the harm I had done, Step Eight took on a new meaning. I am no longer uncomfortable and I feel clean and light.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on August 15th Reading
My recovery was slow
because I wanted to get sober just to get my wife and kids back, I wanted every
thing to be good again, this was not to happen, we never did get back together,
but my kids sure liked the changes I had made This is where my family after
started with them,
I became a father to
them, instead of ruling over there little lives, they were five and eight when
I sobered up, it was not until I had a spiritual experience that I started to
share my new found knowledge of God and what he was doing for me I guess at
that time I wanted to shout it from the roof tops,
there is a God and he has
saved my from a life of self destruction, I was going to save the world I did
see that I had a distorted way of looking at
this new found faith, but also saw it was one sided at that time After
all I was the one who had this white light spiritual experience, not my family,
I needed balance in my ways a spiritual life that does not include family may
not be so perfect after all
Knowing I could not give
this to everyone I met, I started to share my spiritual experience with my
children, because at this time I became a real father to them, we used to go
camping a lot we had a camp site next to a small open field, at night we would
lay in the field and look to the stars
finding peace and
serenity,
My daughter always wanted
me to tell her about how God came down and helped me out of the big hole I dug
myself into, walking in circles when drunk, digging the hole deeper, the hole
got so deep that I could not climb out by myself, I needed help I called out
for someone to help me, it was at this time God reached deep down into the hole
grabbed my hand, lifted
me out of that pit of despair I had been in so long, I did stop walking around
that bottle going in circles On that
day we had started a new relationship, founded on the principles of a spiritual
way of life I had learned in the halls of AA, I became a father who could teach
his children love,
for the rest of my family
well lets say my brothers could have used the program But this is about how I
related to them after recovery, we had a very hard relationship, a lot of hurt
and anger was exchanged, I was the youngest of 4 boys, so I got the crap end of
most
things, till I found
alcohol could make me 10 feet tall and no one could ever make me hurt again
I went to live with Mom
the first 6 months of sobriety, it was first time I ever saw her cry with joy,
the day I told her I needed help, I was going into treatment to get help, well
I did make a lot of amends to all of them, even my x wife, we are friends today
and we had shared in raising the kids Today I have a wonderful family,
beautiful life, with my angel Sandy
we have watch our kids grow
up with us both being sober, we have a fantastic relationship with our family
and were truly bless by God, the AA fellowship has taught us about ourselves I
can sure identify with others who have active family members in trouble, I like
so many others, had to finally turn it all over to God’s care
just praying but still
talking to our son about his alcohol abuse, hopefully in Gods time he will see
the light and go for the help to find his recovery and a new way of life
Please feel free to mail suggestions
or comments
