Daily Reflections reading
September 20th
H.P. As Guide
See to it that your
relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and
countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. Alcoholics Anonymous Page 164
Having a right relationship with God seemed to be an impossible order. My
chaotic past had left me filled with guilt and remorse and I wondered how this
“God business” could work. A.A. told me that I must turn my will and my life
over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With nowhere else to turn, I went
down on my knees and cried, “God, I can’t do this. Please help me!” It was when
I admitted my powerlessness that a glimmer of light began to touch my soul, and
then a willingness began to emerged to let God control my life. With Him as my
guide, great events began to happen, and I found the beginning of sobriety.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World
Services
My
thoughts on September 20th Reading
My higher power is God and He really
exist I started to really look at the steps, I also wanted to learn about this
new God of my understanding, even went as far as reading the New Testament in
the bible, started to go to a church, but never fell at home there, my
spiritually was coming from the halls of AA
The time came for me to ask God with, all
the humility I could find, to take the desire to drink away, take the demons,
or whatever it was away from me, I was staying at my moms and sleeping on a
hide bed sofa, after asking God to remove these things, I fell asleep only to
be awakened by what I thought were rat like creatures trying to eat their way
into my body, I remember throwing them at the wall of my moms living room, felt
the fear pounding away in my heart, then I fell back into a deep sleep.
When this happened I was Six Months
Sober, I tell you the peace and serenity I felt at that time, was like I was
transported into another world of absolute Love, I slept for 36 hours straight,
on that hide a bed with the metal bar in the center, my Mother checked on me to
see if I was still alive, because in all that time I never moved.
I felt like a new man when I woke up, I
had the feeling of total serenity, the peace and serenity I fell that night was
perfect unconditional love from God, like He had come down and picked me up
holding me in his arms.
When I got up I had the feeling that
everything in my new world was going to be all right. I had just had a
spiritual experience, like the white light one Bill W had, I know I felt Gods
presents that morning, He has been with me till this day. I have not had the
desire to drink again, and I began a new life free from that bondage of myself.
Even after all that, I have at times,
still doubted there was a God in my life. I could not hear what He was saying,
when I was listening with a closed mind, filled with self-pity, hopelessness,
and despair. So I knew I needed to be vigilant about the action I was taken
each day, to be better able to hear Him. He has so many ways to communicate
with us; I need to have an open channel to listen to His message.
Tuesday Sept 2nd 2003 our son John went
into the hospital bleeding internally from drinking too much his liver was
shutting down and kidneys were failing he was having a difficult time breathing
and he was admitted to ICU given three pints of blood and respiratory
treatments that day.
When we went to visit him Wednesday
afternoon he told us the doctor said if he drank again he would only have
another two years to drink before he died like in his mind he could still drink
for 18 months, then quit But we promptly reminded him that he was in the
hospital bleeding just thirty seven days ago and he left against medical advice
because he needed to drink again.
Then after I went on a commitment I can
home called hospital to see how he was the nurse told me he went into the DT’s
and he had to be put into four point restraints after he had swung at nurses
and pulled all the IV lines out of his arms also he pulled the central line
from his chest .so at 11 PM Sandy and I went to hospital to see if we could
calm him down Sandy seemed to have a positive effect on him and after a few
hours he seemed calm enough so we could go back home
Thursday he aspirated into his lungs
Pneumonia set in both lungs and they had to put him on a ventilator, where he was
put into an paralytic coma to keep him calm they started to wean he off the
drugs they were using to see if he would remain calm but it was to no avail for
the next few days
We had many people praying for him to get
well and we planned on a family intervention when he was well enough to
understand how sick he became, but this will also be up to how he reacts. This
had been a real hard time for us to watch him suffer so much because of the
booze.
All our family members went to the
hospital to encourage him to fight for his life we all where talking to him not
knowing even if he is hearing us but it was all in God’s hands the doctors and
nurses did everything possible to keep him alive they where a great help in
informing us of the things there tried to stabilize him
John finely got of the life support after
17 days his wife was down in Virginia and he took a bus down there to be with
her he stayed sober for about six months then Feb 2005 he went back into a
hospital with bleeding in his abdomen and esophagus he was given all together
20 pints of blood
He now has end stages of cirrhosis he is
30 months sober now and we know the God of our understanding was watching over
us all in this crisis, people all over the world, pulled together and prayed
for our son and ourselves God exists and he does answer prayers
Now this is just one of the many dark
times we have gone thru in our family from the day I had my heart attack and by
pass to Sandy having bypass to the loss of an 11 year old grandson to Sandy
having a knee replacement to Sandy now needed a hip replacement etc. etc. etc.
In 1998 my Dr told me they could not do
anymore for me and sent me home to be comfortable I found a new Dr to get a
second opinion in 2001 I had a pacemaker and defibrillator put in and two
months later a second bypass surgery so yes in all I have been thru I have
always kept my faith in God because I know he is always here for me
Now if you can have a faith this strong
then you to will know that God does exist and I pray that when you do know you
will come to trust in Him as I have
Please feel free to mail
suggestions or comments
