Daily
Reflections reading February 1st
Goal: Sanity
Step
Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon
what occasion or on what day I came to believe in a power greater than myself, but
I certainly have that belief now. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27
“Came
to believe!” I gave lip service to my belief when I felt like it or when I
thought it would look good. I didn’t really trust God. I didn’t believe He
cared for me. I kept trying to change things I couldn’t change. Gradually, in
disgust, I began to turn it all over, saying: “You’re so omnipotent, you take
care of it.” He did. I began to receive answers to my deepest problems,
sometimes at the most unusual times: driving to work, eating lunch, or when I
was sound asleep. I realized that I hadn’t thought of those solutions–a Power
greater than myself had given them to me. I came to believe.
©
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on February 1st Reading
Step two was a
process of finding this power greater than myself, this happened over time,
first I came I showed up I stumbled in the door of AA hopelessly lost in my
alcoholism, having no other place to go, full of anger, fear, despair, and
hopelessly, lost to the disease
I came and sat
in the rooms, slowly my mind began to clear up, I began to have hope, as more
people told their stories this hope was reinforced by what I had heard, hope
yes but still I need to being convinced of this loving God of yours in AA
When see
hundreds of others doing the things they are asking me to do and getting well,
then I have to make a choice, I have to either believe they are telling me the
truth, or that I am the only sane human being, still alive on the face of the
this earth
I came to my
senses and began to experience some physical and emotional sobriety, when I
finally came to believe is when my real recovery began, it was a process my
spiritual growth was determined by knowledge of your God, as I was to
understand
With a power
greater than myself I began to find faith, at first it is was the faith in the
group, working step two I could not be absolutely close-minded about changing
my attitude, if I accepted a Higher Power to restore me to sanity, I had to do
some emotional house cleaning
I had to grow
beyond selfishness and grandiosity, I also had to stop putting other people in
the role of god's, I needed to overcome sources of bitterness toward my old
belief in God, I was angry that God had not instantaneously healed me after my
first attempt at prayer
But when I did
honesty and humbly ask He did take the desire to drunk from me, I really wanted
to fill the void, I wanted to break down the barriers hindering my progress, so
I needed to turn to the ultimate source, in my case the God I became to
understand
The god of
unconditional love, compassion, understanding, and most of all forgiveness, so
it is action that returned me to sanity the action of changing my attitudes and
false beliefs of who I thought I was with my mind open I saw AA working for me
and I needed this fellowship
God bless you
Al M
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