Daily Reflections reading December 11th
A Genuine Humility
we are actually to practice a genuine
humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that
we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192
Experience has taught me that my
alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good
intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my “causes.” My ego takes
over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God’s
handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is
dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole. My
safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as
an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my
accomplishments, and that “God is doing for us what we could not do for
ourselves.”
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on December 11th Reading
Until I had the necessary humility, recovery for me was impossible. As long as I thought I could control my life by myself, I continue to fail. Some hit bottom sooner than others. I was not smart enough to see where the disease was leading me
What the inevitable result was if I did not find help from power greater than myself, whether high bottom, or a low bottom, when I finally reach it the only way to go is up. When I was humble enough to seek help, by turning over my will, I found the help I needed
It was easer for me to be humble before God, than before people when I finally admitted I needed help, I had swallowed a dose big of humility, but if it's just between God, and myself it was not as hard to take. Being humble with others in my life was different.
An act of humility before a real, breathing, human being was very frightening. This human, could be judgmental. When I faced other alcoholics and admit the need for help, recovery began Humbling myself before others was my surrendering to find the love of God.
Understand and acceptance of my faults is being humble with others and myself I have to continue to look at my faults and be willing to change them and make amends Humility is the understanding God is now in charge of my life, everything I have is from Him
With very few exceptions, every alcoholic eventually meets humiliation and defeat. this is painful in a world that places high value on winning and on having the approval and admiration of others most of us feel diminished by these defeats of our false pride
Before I found AA I humiliated myself almost daily my ego was like the good year blimp I was very embarrassed and powerless over the way I acted out my emotions when drinking I blamed everyone else for my problems if only they would listen to ME!!! Do it my way
The Ego was crushed when they did not accept me and then the guilt shame and remorse came I had no self-respect, felt lower than pond scum for the way I acted and how I hurt had so many
Today I have some degree of true humility by being humble before God and my peers
Like I said I have had enough humiliation in all the things I did before I found hope in AA Humility is a thing I need to practice in my living some times this mean I have to accept criticism I also need to accept the praise of others when they express themselves with gratitude
Humility helps me accept this as part of recovery and I do not let my pride or ego take over
I am recovering through the love and guidance of my Higher Power God, as I understand Him
I try to keep in mind that I am what I am and where all my hope has come from AA
If I forget these basics and rely on my ego I will grow a lot closer to despair. I was afraid to show any kind of weakness I thought I was indestructible I could control everything people places and things all under my control today thru humility I have to accept my very real and human limitations
Humility is truth a humble attitude is simply one that recognizes where our power ends and God's begins its letting go of the false and looking at Gods daily plan for me I don't need to get my own way today nice when I do but humility says its OK either way God is in my heart and I hope He is in yours
God bless you Al M
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