Daily
Reflections reading August 19th
A Frame Of Reference
Referring to our list [inventory] again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 67
There is a wonderful freedom in not needing constant approval from colleagues at work or from the people I love. I wish I had known about this Step before, because once I developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation and that it was the correct thing to do.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on August 19th Reading
first I had learn my character defects so I can correct
them, step four prepare me for taking Step five and helps show me the amends I owe to others, I had to aim
toward more than temporary relief, I had to make a thorough written inventory
with out my procrastinating to the extent I put the
inventory off until later I often meet
people in our fellowship who are not taking the action, but I can never let
that stop me from my own efforts to find recovery by work the steps into my
life
There is a lot fear surrounding step four mostly created by
those who are yet to do it, to be able to start on this step the first three
steps needed to be completed, so I could enter into step four many people go
back drinking or act out in some way when they reach the fourth step
they will tell you that the pain of dredging up memories
long buried was too much to accept I have heard all the excuses, the fact
is pain does not come in writing an
inventory, the pain comes in resisting the writing, the freedom is made
impossible by holding on to fears and secrets
I was told to try and list Resentments; all people, places,
things, institutions, ideas or principles with who I was angry, resent, feel
hurt, or threatened by, I got into the habit of writing every day, even if it's
was only a paragraph or two
I had to write the
lists in column first with all names of people, places, and things, I resented,
in a second column I listed all the reasons these things caused me resentments
I had to be specific as to why I was angry, with each person or thing in my
resentment column
in a third column I had to list how each one affected me,
how did I react to the feeling I was feeling at the moment, why was I so angry
how can I change the feelings, in a fourth column I had to list Where I was to
blame , not them, where was I at fault not them
I had to be honest I was only person to benefit from these
list
next I had to start
all over again first listing my fear in a column second all the reasons for the fears
third how the fears affected me fourth where was I in all
the fears next came the sex conduct
list
I had to search out the flaws in my make-up that caused me
to fail resentment and fear where my bigest offenders from them came all forms
of my spiritual disease
I was not only mentally and physically ill but also
spiritually ill I had to overcome my own spiritual malady so I could straighten
out the physical and mental parts of the disease
I had to look at the fear and grudges and set opposite each
name where my injuries real of at that time imangined they had to be listed
then I had to ask myself
was it my self-esteem security ambitions personal or sex relations which
had been interfered with lot of thought had to go in these answers
fears brought pain I felt I did not deserve fear should be
classed with lieing and stealing it cause as many problem in our lives as
anything else
today I know there is a better way trusting and relying upon
God I have to trust the endless love of God rather than my own faulty instints
I can can laugh at those who think spirituality is the way
of weakness for it is the way to
strength
let Him demonstrate through me what He can do for you by my
sharing ESH
God bless you all
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suggestions or comments
