Daily
Reflections reading May 5th
The Forest and the trees
. . . . what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get his direct comment and counsel on our situation. . . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 60
I cannot count the times when I have been angry and frustrated and said to myself, “I can’t see the forest for the trees!” I finally realized that what I needed when I was in such pain was someone who could guide me in separating the forest and the trees; who could suggest a better path to follow; who could assist me in putting out fires; and help me avoid the rocks and pitfalls. I ask God, when I’m in the forest, to give me the courage to call upon a member of A.A.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on May 5th Reading
Taken steps one two and three I found the God of my
understanding, an all loving forgiven God, this took me into step four with
some confidence that He was not going to judge me for harms caused when I was
out there drinking
When I wrote my fourth Step inventory, I admitted to God and
myself the wrongs I did, while in the turmoil of my drinking days, with out
that fear, yes it was truly a fearless inventory even if I was scared to start
it another false fear put aside
Step five is where I now needed to go in order to stop
hiding and begin to take responsibility for myself knowing what I had done, the
lives I have messed up the places I was no longer welcome all the creditors I
had screwed over in my self centered ways
How was I going to tell another human being my inventory, I
sure did not want to admit my defects of character all the flaws I found in
that scary fourth step all the wrongs I did and problems I caused
The God of my understanding knew what I had done
But his love was unconditional he did not Judge me, for my
faults using my free will, He helped my thru that fourth step but I still
consciously had to admit these things to God because if I did not then I would
lose that little bit of humility I had been given so I sat quietly to offer up a
simple prayer
Asking His will be done, help me change my old habits to
become usefully whole again, please take the desire to drink away from me and
help me with my shortcomings and character defects, a sense of relief did come
over me that night
I took another look at what I had written down in my
inventory. I finally own up to it with my sponsor that other human being OUCH,
the forest and the trees were no longer in my way, I at long last saw the light
on the path to freedom from alcohol
When I tried to justify parts, or blame it on others, my
sponsor came to the rescue, he simply said stop and take responsibility for
your part, this is all about you not others, this step is not to make me feel
badly about myself it is simply to recognize that I was the one who did those
things
I was now out of the forest beginning a process of change
and move on to a new life, when I read my whole inventory out loud to my
sponsor, he was the one person I knew in my heart I could trust to hold my
inventory in total confidence and he took it to the grave with him
The fifth Step can be scary but it's one of the most
powerful actions I could ever have taken toward becoming whole with the
willingness to move forward into recovery now knowing someone else knows where
I came from and what I was willing to do to change my attitudes towards life
God Bless you AL M
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