Daily
Reflections reading November 23rd
Hold Your Face To The Light
Believe
more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do
not see. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 3
One
Sunday in October, during my morning meditation, I glanced out the window at
the ash tree in our front yard. At once I was overwhelmed by its magnificent,
golden color! As I stared in awe at God’s work of art, the leaves began to fall
and, within minutes, the branches were bare. Sadness came over me as I thought
of the winter months ahead, but just as I was reflecting on autumn’s annual
process, God’s message came through. Like the trees, stripped of their leaves
in the fall, sprout new blossoms in the spring, I had my compulsive, selfish
ways removed by God in order for me to blossom into a sober, joyful member of
A.A. Thank you, God, for the changing seasons and for my ever-changing life.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on November 23rd Reading
Someone once remarked that pain is the touchstone of
spiritual progress, how heartily we AA's can agree with him, for we know that
the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, and continued turmoil
before serenity
I still know that feeling of fear and anxiety, my mind can
still race with the pain of all my problems, I can still feel overwhelmed
helpless and fearful that something could again over take my life, I remember
that feeling of being suicidal, feeling anxious, not wanting to look at the
pain I caused
Accepting pain of growing was the hardest thing I ever had
to do, to let go completely, when I started doing the fourth step I started to
see how wrong I had been how I hurt so many, I did not like what I saw looking
at all the crap I pulled and how I was at fault was real painful
Prayer is a good way to calm my mind and be able to look at
this as just another situation, no topic is so small that I can't blow it up to
become overwhelming, if I allow myself to worry it can become a way of life, but
worry has no the power to stop any tragedy!
With all that has happened in my past I need to be aware of
my thinking, I was told you are what you think, and I do believe at times I am,
this is true today I can rise above the situation and choose the courage to
change those things I can
I had to find that acceptance of myself and be willing to
change the person I brought into AA, I had to learn how to forgive myself and
also had to ask forgiveness from all those who I hurt, in the long run the pain
of growing up was a lot easer than the pain of total defeat in the bottle
Until I could accept my part in how I made others pull away
from me, I could not stay sober, I had to finally accept life on Gods terms,
how could I ever be happy trying to control things, they say when you need to
control things your out of control of everything, I believe this today
I need to concentrate on what needs to be changed in me and
my attitudes, if I want to stay sober I need to keep living with-in the guide
lines of the steps, if I want to be free of emotional pain, after all pain is
always going to be a part of my life but the program teaches me how to deal
with pain
Mental and emotional pain I think are the hardest to let go
of, because we are human beings with free will that hurts us and others at time,
but I do not need to suffer today because God has worked wonders in my
acceptance of myself and others
I had to have a new beginning and the beginning was AA, I
couldn't start anywhere else I had to let go of the past and forget the future
as its now here, as long as I held on to the past with one hand and grabbed at
the future with the other hand
I had nothing to hold onto in the present, I had to begin
living here in the NOW, praying only for knowledge of God's will for me and the
power to carry it out, I believe God brings peace and this peace like a flowing
river will overflow my cup and flow into the lives of all who are around me
As long as I do continue to hold my face to the light,
looking up in awe of what God has helped me do in my new way of life, in
removing the pain of my past and healing the pain of those who I had harmed, showing
me the way to peace and forgiveness
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
