Daily
Reflections reading June 5th
Entirely Ready
“This
is the Step that separates the men from the boys.”. . . the difference between
“the boys and the men” is the difference between striving for a self determined
objective and for the perfect objective which is of God. It is suggested that
we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward perfection. The moment we
say, “No, never!” our minds close against the grace of God. This is the exact
point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God’s will for
us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 63, 68, 69
Am
I entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character? Do I know at
long last that I cannot save myself? I have come to believe that I cannot. If I
am unable, if my best intentions go wrong, if my desires are selfishly
motivated and if my knowledge and will are limited — then I am ready to embrace
God’s will for my life.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on June 5th Reading
Being human in early recovery I still wanted to keep a lot
of my defects, at that time I called this my character, we all do have very
distinct characters, qualities they just needed to be tuned up a little, OK a
lot of tuning up was going to be required
In the reading this is the Step that separates the men from
the boys, I think is because we had mostly men in the fellowship when it was
written, today I like to say it is when we separate the adult from the child
and put all our childish toys away
Like many others in recovery I had still catered to the
child with-in-me way to often, in the early days of my recover, step six did
bring out these faults in my character and I knew I had to change them, but how
was this to be done
I just was not in any hurry to do this, maybe the so called
seven deadly sins, Pride, Greed, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy, and Sloth were
way out of control, when it was all about my drunken attitudes this step is
another one I wanted to skip
Pride, well false pride was my problem drinking, I was proud
of all the crap I pulled, thinking I was better than most, pride was another
excuse to do as I wanted to anyone at any time, Yes I liked to feel and act
superior to others
Today I take pride in myself for the things I have accomplished
in recovery, proud to be a loving kind respectful, husband proud to be a father
to my children, pride is a good thing it used rightly, now greed was a big part
of my make-up I always wanted what I wanted when I wanted it
The need for more was never satisfied, even in my drinking
it was always more today I know greed can be masked in many ways, like taken
comfort, or pretending its ambition, taken more then I deserve, to better myself
at the expense of others
Lust this really got the best of me drinking, I really
thought I was the great I am and everyone should fall all over me, I was the
perfect man how could anyone not want me, lust caused many problems in my
marriage
Thanks God this is one defect that has been removed today, I
have a soul mate and would not let anything get in the way of this fantastic
relationship, Sandy and I have we were joined by God with all His blessings we
gratefully accepted
Anger, wow, don’t we all know what that can do to us, I
used my anger towards my father as a reason for everything I did wrong, I hated
this man for twenty years or more and have never met him to this day, how sick
is that making him my excuses
Today I leave the anger and resentments out side the door,
they have no place in my heart of mind, I do not need to poison myself with
hate and anger anymore again thanks to God
Gluttony to me is along the lines of greed, to some extent
it has ruined my health and well being, I grab for everything I could, having
fear I will never have enough of anything in life, food, clothes, wealth wanted
it all
Today I know God will provide me with all my needs, I do not
need to feel like I need to hoard possessions, we have been provided with food,
clothing, and shelter, He even gives us some of the thing we want in life
Envy I had a lot of that, watching others get what I
thought I deserved more than they did, willing to cause them problems to
discredit them in the work place, putting them down because I thought of them
as less than, not worthy of being in my presents
Today envy does not play a large part in my life, but its
one of the things I think we all hold onto in one way or another, as long as I
recognize this it does not become a problem, like in my past envy is just
another form of a resentment
Sloth I called this excuses not to have to do the things I
needed to do, like provide for my family. working a full time job, but not
working enough to pay for the booze I needed, so if any was left over was to
provide for my family
Sloth was a problem with me I always tried to get things
with minimum effort, but today I try to think of others and have become the man
God wanted me to become in the first place, I do have more character defects to
let go of
But this is the lot of anyone who is human, we strive for
perfection in all we do today, accepting our personal limitations as human
beings, the best I can do is progress toward that elusive perfection, hoping I
never do achieve perfection I would not know hoe to handle it
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
