Daily
Reflections reading April 19th
Brothers In Our Defects
We
recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in
our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p.
167
The
identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious,
spiritual–almost incomprehensible. But it is there. I “feel” it. Today I feel
that I can help people and that they can help me. It is a new and exciting
feeling for me to care for someone; to care what they are feeling, hoping for,
praying for; to know their sadness, joy, horror, sorrow, grief; to want to
share those feelings so that someone can have relief. I never knew how to do
this–or how to try. I never even cared. The Fellowship of A.A., and God, are
teaching me how to care about others.
©
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on April 19th Reading
With anger, fear, guilt, shame, major resentments, lot of
remorse, how could I not be confused, why I am here is simple, I did not know
how to change me or heal myself with out the help of AA so I guess we are all
brothers and sisters in our defects
In order to heal I had to stop looking at the problems and
start to look for the solutions, the solutions were simply put down the drink
and start changing myself, this is the very beginning of anyone’s recovery, put
down the drink is surrendering to powerlessness
But I wanted more than to just stop drinking, I wanted to
know how not to ever have to pick one up again, when I started to read the 12
steps I found out that I was powerless over alcohol and I knew I couldn't live
with my life completely unmanageable
A solution was here, I had to change the person I brought
into the halls, that hopeless drunken egotistical bum, I knew God could help me
recover from this disease and restore me to sanity I had let God into my life
and I let him into my heart, only then could I find the strength to change
I found thru the steps what was right and what was wrong
with me and my attitudes, only after taken an inventory, I needed that
inventory in order to find out who I really was, I began to write everything
down, resentments fears and sex and other things
I needed to really find the AA solutions for them, after
writing my inventory I wasn't sure anymore so I needed another human being to
help me, he showed me were my faults were, he showed me how to make amend to
all who I had harmed
He helped me to forgive others and myself, I was entirely
ready for God to remove all my defects of character, taking another look at my
part, I proceeded to take a better look at my inventory, making amends to
everyone I had to ask for forgiveness for the harms I had done
I continued to do a daily inventory asking for forgiveness
when I hurt others or myself, I ask for God for His guidance to make me a
better person and not go back to past ways, today I must carry this message to
others "God can do for us what we could not do for ourselves"
And I try very hard to practice the principles of this GOD
given fellowship in all my endeavors, most important part of this carrying the
message to the one's still out there is if I don't try to pass it forwards I
can never receive any of it back
God bless Al M
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