Daily
Reflections reading May 14th
It’s Okay
To Be Me
Time
after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their
lives. . . . they have turned to easier methods. . . . But they had not learned
enough humility. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 72-73
Humility
sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself
— and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the “smartest” or
“dumbest” or any other “est.” Finally, it is okay to be me. It is easier for me
to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then
I had better have a sponsor –someone with whom I can share those “certain
facts” that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the
Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work
©
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.
My thoughts on May
14th Reading
Chapter 6 Into Action is
what this reading is about to me, making my personal inventory sharing it with
another trying to get a new attitude a new relationship with God, I had to look
at the defects of my past, admitting certain defects, I had put my finger on
the weak items in my inventory
So I could share them with
another human being, action was needed to do this it meant that I had admitted
to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my defects,
as a newcomer I tried to keep certain facts about my life to myself
Trying to avoid a
humbling, humiliating experience, I had also turned to find easier methods, but
like others before me, I had not learned enough humility, thanks to God I did
not go back out and drink again, but sobriety was just escaping my grasp
I had to complete my
housecleaning, let go of all the worst defects, I had to lose my fears and the
Goodyear blimp EGO I had, to truly humble myself by taken the fifth step, and
walk into the sixth step, the question there is am I willing, can I be honest
enough to really try Step Six on all my faults without any reservations
whatever
I know my own willpower
wouldn't work on alcohol, I tried the geographical cure cross country and guess
what I was still an ass when I got there, I couldn't stop drinking, no human
being could stop me, I had to became willing to clean house and ask a Higher
Power to take the desire to drink away
I had been relieved of my
alcoholism, step six shows me a way to be free from other problems, self exam
of all my character defects and shortcomings was needed, once I had become
willing for God to remove my defects of character I simply needed to humbly ask
Him
That’s what Step seven
tells me, In some ways it really is that simple I know it just does not seem
that simple, the Seventh Step is letting go and is a huge undertaken for most
alkies, being able to let something go, some times feels like we just want to
take it back again
I needed to take more
action, faith without works is dead, I had to look at steps eight and Nine I
had that list of all persons I have harmed and became willing to make the
amends I was willing to repair the damage I had done in the past I did want to
clean up my side of the street
Asking for the forgiveness
for my past mistakes, I now wanted to be fit to be of maximum service to God
and the people around me, today I now had a sincere desire to set right all the
wrong I did to show good will to all
I do not need to talk of
what I am trying to achieve, or of spiritual discoveries I have made, this is
not any part of an amend I don't use this as an excuse for shying away from the
subject of God when it will serve any good purpose, I are willing to talk about
me spiritually with tact and common sense
Some of my amend had to be
made to people who I hurt, but who also hurt me, but by cleaning up my side of
the street, I found I had a better attitude toward them, with people I had
disliked I had to bit my tongue, reach out to make the amends for my part, I
did not expect an amend from them
For me I had go to them in
a helpful and forgiving spirit, admitting my ill feeling, expressing my regret,
if they accept it and make there own amends it is much more of a relief, I had
to remember to not criticize or argue simply tell them
I will never get over drinking until I have done my utmost to straighten out the past; I am there to sweep off my side of the street, realizing that nothing worthwhile will happen until I am free of fears and resentments
God Bless you Al M
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