Daily
Reflections reading July 23rd
I Ask God
To Decide
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the
brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men,
but for alcoholics these things are poison. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66
“I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.” ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS, p. 76
Having admitted my powerlessness and made a decision to turn my will
and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him, I don’t decide which
defects get removed, or the order in which defects get removed, or the time
frame in which they get removed. I ask God to decide which defects stand in the
way of my usefulness to Him and to others, and then I humbly ask Him to remove
them.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on July 23rd
Reading
Page 76
Big Book the Seventh step prayer
"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of
me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of
character, which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen."
At the end of this prayer in the big book of AA it says we have then completed Step Seven. Well for me I needed to look deeper into the step than just saying a prayer, expecting the miracle everything was going to be different after the prayer
Once I had become willing for God to remove my defects of character, in step six, I simply needed to humbly ask Him, that's what Step seven tells me and In some ways it really is that simple, I know it just does not seem that simple
The seventh Step is letting go, it was huge for me and is for most alkies, being able to let something go some times feels like we just want to take it back again. I know I just needed to accept the process of letting go
When acceptance is there letting go almost takes care of itself, I had to accept it just as it is at this moment, if the acceptance is real the letting go would just happen, I know I could not cheat if I accepted it as so, it would have to change, my acceptance had to be absolute and total, done with a lot of humility
Step seven is how I deal with humility, for me it was to become totally honest with myself, with other, people, places and things, I have had lots of experience with humiliation as a direct result of my alcoholism I had discovered I did not have much in the self esteem level, today I know humility is the desire to seek and do God's will for me
Trying to find God's will for me is a huge undertaken, I could not do this alone I needed help from my sponsor and the fellowship, thank God the Big Book stayed out of the religions and made it safe for all to find recovery I have thru the fellowship learned to be honest with myself
This phrase works as a good guideline to humility “If something works well for me it's probably God's will for me “Thinking about it meant I have to know something about myself, like what was I good at, what we're my most glowing defects, and so much stuff in between,
The best and worst of me, finding just what was good in my life was hard, the hardest part my self-esteem was at its lowest point ever and before I got to AA I just wanted to take my life, nothing in the whole world was worth living for so I thought
Thanks to God I did not succeed in my plan to end my life, the steps gave me a chance to see how much more there was in life after booze, I took my defects and turned them into assets, to use in helping others find their way,
Working with others just like others worked with me, to find peace and real happiness step seven gave me the chance to really get more honest and humble with myself, not just in the staying sober but in life itself, step six and seven gave me the opportunity to solve problems other than alcohol like living life in a selfless manner
God bless you Al M
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