Daily Reflections reading April 16th
Anger A Dubious Luxury
“Dubious luxury.” How often have I remembered those words. It’s not
just anger that’s best left to nonalcoholics; I built a list including
justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false
pride and false humility. I’m always surprised to read the actual quote. So
well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep
thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank God I can’t afford them–or
I surely would indulge in them.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on April 16th Reading
Dubious means Doubtful and
I sure am extremely doubtful, anger in any way is a Luxury to me our to anyone
who is of sane mind, resentment leads to anger, that dome f ear of the unknown
has cause in my life while drinking or sober
It is plain my life filled
with resentments, leads only to anger, fear, and unhappiness but only to extent
that I permitted these resentments to stay with me, I can now remember all the
wasted ours of my life resenting, people, places, and thing when they cared
less about my resentments
Today as an alcoholic
recovering from a fatal disease, I have been given hope to maintain growth of a
spiritual nature, an experience in faith, because resentment is infinitely
grave, it can be fatal to me when harboring feelings, I can shut myself off
from the sunlight of the Spirit of my faith
The insanity of alcoholism
can return in a flash, I could drink once again, for me and I only speak for
myself, my experiences, to drink is to die of an alcoholic’s painful death, I
know I had to be free of resentment, anger and of the fear they bring, I do not
have the dubious luxury of normal men,
For me these things are
poison to my heart, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, have no more
power over my life, I escaped that last effort to drink in safety, I had to be
free these resentments, how I did this is by forgiveness for myself and others
Today I know like myself
others were also spiritually sick, I have to have the compassion to forgive
them for harms done, this in no way means I will accept unacceptable behaviors
from anyone, but I have to forgive others to free myself of the resentments I
carry
I ask God to help me give
them the same tolerance, pity, and patience; I would give to any other sick
friend or family member, I have to always avoid retaliation, I just can’t be
helpful to all people, but at least God will show me how to take a kinder and
more tolerant view of everyone.
I now trust God, I am here
to carry out His will for me, to the extent I try to do what I think He would
have me do, I humbly rely upon His will for me, He shows me how to be serene in
the calamity of my life peace is always there for me when I ask Him
I never apologize to
anyone for my dependence upon God, as I now understand Him, today I can laugh
at those who think spirituality is the way of weakness when it is only my
strength, faith does mean courage
All people of faith have
courage, I never apologize for God, instead I let Him demonstrate, through me,
what He can do for others, I ask Him to remove my fears, direct my attention to
what He would have me do, I have outgrow most of my fears
ANGER!! Is not a DUBIOUS LUXURY for me, every time I
have fear it turns to anger towards the unknown, when I think of resentments I
was solver of all problems for everyone, my way was the only way to go, being
lost in my disease I had no clue as to what I was doing to all my loved ones
I do believe anger has been replaced with love and respect for others, who still suffer from our disease, for me random acts of kindness are the best why to remove my anger and doing this anonymously is the best way to go
God bless you Al M
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