Daily Reflections reading
January 9th
An Act Of Providence
It
is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such
an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove
it from us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21
My
act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I
experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism – everything meaningful
in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant,
my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I
know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and
accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down through this one act of
Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with
divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over
alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me –
one day at a time – in the life-saving, life-giving Fellowship of Alcoholics
Anonymous.
©
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on January 9th Reading
Step one was an absolute to my recovery, for so many years I
was convinced that I had the power to do anything, I thought I could change
people, circumstances, just about anything I wanted to, I also thought that I
could stop drinking any time I wanted to
When alcohol finally brought me to my knees and God gave me
the gift of desperation, I began to understand with your help, and God's, that
I was powerless, not only over alcohol but over other people, places and things
I know that I can't change another person, I can only try to
show the road to recovery, knowing God is driving the bus, no me, all I have to
do is sit in the middle of the bus and enjoy the ride knowing God will handle
what comes my, way if I let Him
The power of God forced me to see why I came into the halls,
it was because I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired, and couldn't
go a day without booze, my life was a real mess because of alcohol completely
unmanageable doing it alone
An act of providence it sure was, but at the time I was to
sick to see this, it was only by surrendering to alcohol, I became willing to
go to any lengths to stay sober and find a new way to live my life on God's
terms not my own free will
Yes I accepted step one is being powerless over alcohol,
accepting and surrendering to the disease was asking for help to change myself,
I had to completely surrender to alcohol and to all the ISM’s of my disease of
alcoholism
The fears of changing the pride and ego that was false the
being in charge of the universe these things I though I had complete control
of, what it was like in the beginning was I tried to do all the right things
got a sponsor, depended on him far too much
I wanted him to keep me sober without looking at myself, I
told a friend in recovery about this and he told me the truth about recovery
it’s all in how you use the HP in your life every time a door closes behind you
your left in the dark for a few minutes till God opens a new door into your
life
Its in these times I needed to use the whole program to face
all of my truths not only did I need a sponsor but I needed a small inner
circle of friends that will be with me in times of need, so I would never again
be alone
But some times I need that extra push thru my Higher power
to move on thru the wreckage of my past, I had to deal with it so I too can
become happy and at peace with others and myself, many people pass thru my life
in recovery I need to learn from each of them
When God came into my life things started to change I
learned how to accept love and learned how to forgive others and my self for
all that happened in my past I learned How to ask for forgiveness from those I
had harmed in the drunken past
Change is constant for everyone my acceptance of this change
is what the serenity is all about courage is the willingness the real key to
all change with out it we can't walk thru the fear God has given me the wisdom
to know the difference today it is simply changing me
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
