Daily
Reflections reading November 11th
Self- Acceptance
We
know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all
will be well with us, here and hereafter. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS,
p. 105
I pray
for the willingness to remember that I am a child of God, a divine soul in
human form, and that my most basic and urgent life-task is to accept, know,
love and nurture myself. As I accept myself, I am accepting God’s will. As I
know and love myself, I am knowing and loving God. As I nurture myself I am
acting on God’s guidance.
I
pray for the willingness to let go of my arrogant self-criticism, and to praise
God by humbly accepting and caring for myself.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My thoughts on November 11th Reading
My choices were not made consciously, they were made by my
Higher Power, I never wanted to accept responsibility for my life or past
choices, they seem to be pretty self serving choices, it's hard to have
confidence and self-respect when I have acted in such a negative way
Acting negatively implies my choices were conscious, and I
was aware of them at the time, but they were not conscious choices, who
consciously choose to be hurt or harmed by another person or undergo some tragic
life-altering event
My Higher power was always there to guide my life towards
what I needed, not what I wanted, the fact my actions were not good they were
lessons in life I had to learn because of my own greedy self will, looking at
them today it is much easier to take responsibility for my past
I only found out that I was human after I entered AA and
took a good look at who I was. When I look back on how I was when out drinking,
well animal would more like describe me, the whole world revolved around me. I
was just learning how to survive in the concrete jungle
I was a good survivor because all my wants came first
nothing else mattered to me, It was a long hard road to travel and when I hit
my bottom I was on the outside just looking in, I had a real hard time with
changing my way of living, I hated change and the life style
AA was pushing with the God thing, just did not really
appeal to me, I did not need or want God’s judging ways in my life, who needed
Him, I was doing fine with out Him screwing up my life, after all I was getting
enough of that at home, till she kicked me, out my life was in the crapper
And still wanted it my way, how sick was I like I could ever
drink in safety again, all I needed to do is learn how to drink the right way,
still thought I could do things with out anyone’s help, who needed people
telling them what to do and how to do it
Life is a constant change and you change or go, this is the
lesson we all learn change in our lives is an absolute, growth is optional, I
have no real choice but to change, I started really looking at the fearful God
issue, I started to slowly change my life style
To a caring person from being a selfish SOB, the steps gave
me the answers to a new way of life, I did learn how sick I was and that I needed
to look towards God For the answers to who I am and why He should grace my life,
guess his answer was that you are human and one of my children
Why should I not want what’s best for you, I was free to be
the person God wanted me to be, free to feel emotions and be able to express
them as a human being doing His will for me, thru the grace of God I love the
new life I have in AA it has changed everything about me
God has given us the tools to reach out and help others we
need to use the AA tools everyday we are given the opportunities to learn a new
lesson in life if we just ask God’s help each morning and thank Him at night
Well it is not all about me today accepting myself was the
hardest thing I ever had to do when I started doing the fourth step I started
to see how wrong I had been how I hurt so many people I did not like what I saw
looking at all the crap I pulled and how I was at fault
Trying to control others in my life wanted them to look up
to me even when I lied but I also demanded to much from them I was playing God
with the lives of all around me it was really a stupid drunken one sided
relationship I had with the whole world
I did not have any acceptance of anyone else’s feelings
until I arrived at the doors of AA broken and twisted hopelessly lost person in
that bottle of booze it took me a long time to accept that I could change and
become the person God wanted me to be
God bless you Al M
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suggestions or comments
