Daily Reflections reading February 19th
I’m Not Different
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the “high bottoms, ” the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself “different” in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I’ve created by feeling I’m “different” in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
© Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
My
thoughts on February 19th Reading
Being different is
terminal uniqueness, taken a risk, like I was the first one to ever admit I was
an alcoholic, I was the only one ever taken this big risk, just coming thru the
doors of AA, what was going to happen if I told all these people who I am, that
my life was unmanageable
The fear of doing that
kept me from doing anything about my problems, then I took that risk of trying
to get to know God, as you people explained Him to me, you said He was
unconditionally loving and forgiven and will help me if I ask Him
I believe terminal
uniqueness “being different” is a form of false pride, in my case an over
inflated Ego, uniqueness at first glance to me, was like I was a person who
believes himself to be better than anyone else the perfect human being
Being different is used
by people who believe, nobody in the world has had problems as grotesque and
unforgivably, or unusually as they have had, I know when I got here I thought
people couldn't possibly help me, I’m too messed up people could never
understand me
Or what I've been
through, I was an all-around bad person I thought, but talking to other people
in the fellowship who have been through similar things, I found out I was not
as different as I thought I was, many people have died because they thought
they were different than the rest of us
The program was a simple
teaching, of what is right, or wrong, in my life, it showed me the way out I
found by sharing my own character defects and shortcomings, with some of these
people I was not any different than any of them, we all had that common bond
Being different can also
be used for the person who wanders into an AA meeting and says I'm not like any
of you, I never lived on the streets, I never resorted to crime, I never used
drugs this holds a person back from making the progress they need to make in
their lives
There are real instances
where people use this mindset to evade responsibility, there is potential for
grave misuse of the term terminal unique, as an alcoholic who wanted to learn
to drink differently, not abstain, wanting to quit, using some other method, I
was lost
Autistic people I've
known have found that within the program their sponsors misjudge their
behavior, to differences in body language and social skills, when trying to
explain they may be told to quit expecting special treatment
When I first started I
had no clue why I was in AA, I didn't think I was as bad off as anyone there,
once I got over my terminal uniqueness, I found out that they had a lot of
useful suggestions everything I do in life has a certain amount of risk
involved
I remember when I said I
would never get married again, well after meeting my angel Sandy getting to
know her, we did the unthinkable, we 20 months sober got married, we had taken
that big chance, this time with Gods help, living with-in the guidelines of the
twelve steps
We have made this
marriage work, as some of you know Sandy and I have had a fantastic marriage of
34 years, we started out with a lot of the fears, because of our past
marriages, fear of the mistakes we had made in our pasts
We started to project
them in to this marriage, but thanks to the fellowship, we found in living
these steps we were able to walk thru our fears, we were able to share our
feelings with each other, holding back nothing, we felt another big risk, to
let down our guard completely
Sharing every feeling we
had honestly and openly, I Thought the fifth step was hard, but that was even
harder because we both projected the fears of what if this hurt others or our
faults would make is less receptive to each other, maybe our love will be
diminished, Because of how we feel about different things, sure is a scary
thing but with out the program, we could not enjoy the many wonderful gifts god
has given us like our fifteen grandchildren and two great grand children
God Bless You Al M
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suggestions or comments
